How To Succeed With Women

The Rules of The Dating Game:

Rule 1. Nothing is personal. Have you ever been playing a game with other people when it suddenly stopped being a game, and started being personal? One man tells me about a soccer league he was in. The game was going great, when suddenly one of the players attacked a guy in the other team. “Suddenly it wasn’t a game anymore,” he tells me. “He took personally a move the other guy made, and just lost it.” This is one of the quickest ways to destroy a game; then it starts being real.

No matter what a woman does, don’t take it personally. Does this mean you can kiss a woman and grab her body and ignore her saying “no”? Absolutely not. But when you say “hi” to a woman and she glare at you, or when you ask a woman out and she says “no,” you should simply not take it personally. If you do, you will suffer and not get the sex you desire. The point is, you don’t really know the reasons why she rejects your advances or blows you off. If you take her behaviors personally, it won’t be a game anymore, and it won’t be fun.

On the other hand, if a woman responds favorably to your flirtations, then you should take it personally. You should remember that she is attracted you, and that you are the one who made it happen. So, feel acknowledged when things go well, and don’t take it personally when things don’t work out.

Rule 2: Be Playful. Recently I observed a below-average-looking, 55-year-old overweight insurance salesman pick up on a beautiful young woman. I am at a restaurant and he came in to use the bathroom. He asked the cashier about some of the paintings on the wall and joked with her about how ugly and out of date they were. She laughed and smiled at him. She asked him if he wanted to be seated, and he said that he was going to the nearby grocery store to do his shopping. He reached out his hand to say good-bye to her. She extended her hand and he kissed it slowly and said, “It has been a pleasure meeting such a lovely and beautiful woman.” She blushed and fanned herself with a menu pretending that he had made her hot and bothered. She gave him a drink in a to-go cup and asked him to stay and talk to her. Because he was able to be playful, he created an opening to charm her. This guy, even though he is below-average-looking, as learned to swoon women and can easily get women to date and have sex with.

Rule 3. Don’t Give Up. Just like in any game, persistence makes a difference. Even if you don’t think you’ll win the game, you’ll enjoy it much more if you don’t give up and you play to win, anyway.

This is Bruce’s attitude. It doesn’t matter to him if he wins or loses, just how he plays the game, and he plays to win even when the odds are against him. Most of the women he flirts with he never sleep with, but he doesn’t care. He simply pushes each interaction as far as it can go, then moves on to the next one. He knows that if you give up in a game, the game is over. Because he enjoys the game, he wants to stay with it.

Being persistent and playing to win makes you into a man who doesn’t give up easily, and being a man who doesn’t give up will bring you more success than you ever thought possible. There’s a story about a boy in a math class. He had dozed off, and awoke to find the teacher writing a problem on the board. Thinking that the problem was a homework assignment, he scribbled it into his notebook, and took it home with him.

For the next two days, he spent every free waking moment working on the problem. Finally, he got the answer and took it to his teacher. She was shocked – it turned out the problem was supposed to be insoluble, and she had only written it on the board as an example. He was able to solve it because he played to win, and didn’t know that he “couldn’t.” He didn’t give up when the going got rough, just as Bruce doesn’t.

Rule 4. Use Probabilities. In the dating game, probabilities are fun, too. They make the game more fun and make interactions with women more about numbers than about some huge ego risk. On a particular night you may see a beautiful woman across from you in a bar and use probabilities to create the percent chance that you could go home with her. You might give yourself a 5 percent chance that she will talk to you. There might be a 1 percent chance that you could buy her a drink and a 0.5 percent chance that you could sleep with her tonight. If she’s less beautiful or more drunk, your probabilities may go up. It sounds silly, but using this technique creates a framework of fun.

When you follow the rules, dating becomes more like a game, less threatening and scary, and more fun for everybody. You know games have ups and downs, wins and losses. You don’t go into games putting your ego on the line, or feel like there’s something wrong with you if you don’t win every time.

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