How To Succeed With Women

What Flirting Does?

Flirting is the key to a successful seduction. If you master flirting, you will also master the art of seduction and vice versa. All masters of seduction also have skills in flirting.

You build rapport
“Rapport” simply means that she likes to talk to you, and feels good doing it. When you are flirting, you usually aren’t talking about anything heavy or deep. You are probably talking about something fun, or silly. She feels pleasure, and you feel pleasure. This creates rapport.

You make her feel safe by returning to the same topics again and again
As you’ll see in this chapter, in flirting you’ll often have a “running joke” with a woman. For example, Frank, a 44-year-old college instructor, has been flirting with a woman at his local health food store for several weeks. She’s pretty, red-haired, tattooed, and in her mid-twenties. Franks thinks she’s quite beautiful, and that she’d probably be a lot of fun in bed. The first time he met her, she was wearing an old military shift and jeans, and he joked with her about her being a marine. “Hello, major,” he said to her. “I see you are wearing your fatigues. Doing some covert operations here at the health food store?” “Oh yes, she responded, immediately drawn into his silly idea. “I’m here watching everyone, to make sure there are no foreign spies.” They joked along this line for a while, and as he left, Frank said, “I’d better leave – I don’t want to blow your cover!” and she laughed. Since then, every time he’s come in they’ve built on this comic scene. She’s always happy to see him, and loves the special little world they create together. Plus, he always has something to talk with her about.

Flirting lets you get to know her to see if you want her
Contrary to what you might think, you really don’t want to get involved with every attractive woman you meet. We’ll talk about this more in coming blog, but for now, simply understand that flirting is a chance to find out if a woman is dangerously unstable, or a cold fish who is not interested in sex.

So how do you use flirting to evaluate a woman’s stability? First, flirting helps you gauge her fear of you. If she has an enduring fear of you, she might not be worth pursuing. It’s important to understand, however, that there is a difference between this enduring fear and the temporary fear that almost all women will experience when they first meet any man.

At first, you’ll be flirting through her fear, overcoming it with your certainty that everything will be okay. After your second or third interaction with her, however, she should be lightening up and joking back with you. If she isn’t, you can certainly keep flirting with her to keep in practice, but you should probably give up on her as someone who you’d want as a sexual partner. A woman who can’t play with you will not be fun to be in any kind of relationship with.

Similarly, you may discover that she is extremely sensitive and easily offended. If your flirting with her makes her angry, or if she delivers a lecture about how “there are some things you just don’t joke about,” you know that you want to avoid her. Likewise, if she starts to cry, or interacting with her scares you or makes you want to cry, you should avoid her as well.

Flirting helps her feel safe with you
Remember women’s number one fear when they first meet you? They are rightfully worried about whether you are dangerous or not. If you are able to be playful with a woman, she relaxes. Subconsciously she reasons, “He’s making me feel good. Therefore, he’s not dangerous.” Men who can’t flirt often scare women because they are so tense and cold that the woman’s natural fear of men is amplified, rather than dampened. When you can flirt playfully, you also show women you aren’t overly concerned about hurting her.

Flirting gets her used to the idea of being romantic with you
When you flirt with a woman, you create a different, imaginary world for the two of you. It’s a small step from this world of flirting to the world of romance.

Flirting gives you opportunities to practice your seduction skills
We suggest that all our students flirt with women constantly. Flirting gives you a chance to nibble away at learning seduction, like a mouse eating cheese, until you have mastered seduction. When you are first learning to flirt, it is important that you do it with all women, not just the ones you are attracted to.

Flirting makes you generative
When you flirt, you are always creatively making up new ways to delight the women who interest you. You can’t do this if you are into being depressed, needy, resentful, moody, or shut down. To flirt well you have to be energetic and creative. Ultimately, women like to be with men who are generative. Fortunately, practicing flirting as I describe will actually take you out of your moodiness and make you into the alive, vital kind of man who gets women.

Flirting gets you the date!
There’s not much more to say. The more you flirt successfully with a woman, the more natural it will be for her to want to go out with you.

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