How To Succeed With Women

What Flirting Does?

2007-02-23T12:49:00.000+08:00

Flirting is the key to a successful seduction. If you master flirting, you will also master the art of seduction and vice versa. All masters of seduction also have skills in flirting.

You build rapport
“Rapport” simply means that she likes to talk to you, and feels good doing it. When you are flirting, you usually aren’t talking about anything heavy or deep. You are probably talking about something fun, or silly. She feels pleasure, and you feel pleasure. This creates rapport.

You make her feel safe by returning to the same topics again and again
As you’ll see in this chapter, in flirting you’ll often have a “running joke” with a woman. For example, Frank, a 44-year-old college instructor, has been flirting with a woman at his local health food store for several weeks. She’s pretty, red-haired, tattooed, and in her mid-twenties. Franks thinks she’s quite beautiful, and that she’d probably be a lot of fun in bed. The first time he met her, she was wearing an old military shift and jeans, and he joked with her about her being a marine. “Hello, major,” he said to her. “I see you are wearing your fatigues. Doing some covert operations here at the health food store?” “Oh yes, she responded, immediately drawn into his silly idea. “I’m here watching everyone, to make sure there are no foreign spies.” They joked along this line for a while, and as he left, Frank said, “I’d better leave – I don’t want to blow your cover!” and she laughed. Since then, every time he’s come in they’ve built on this comic scene. She’s always happy to see him, and loves the special little world they create together. Plus, he always has something to talk with her about.

Flirting lets you get to know her to see if you want her
Contrary to what you might think, you really don’t want to get involved with every attractive woman you meet. We’ll talk about this more in coming blog, but for now, simply understand that flirting is a chance to find out if a woman is dangerously unstable, or a cold fish who is not interested in sex.

So how do you use flirting to evaluate a woman’s stability? First, flirting helps you gauge her fear of you. If she has an enduring fear of you, she might not be worth pursuing. It’s important to understand, however, that there is a difference between this enduring fear and the temporary fear that almost all women will experience when they first meet any man.

At first, you’ll be flirting through her fear, overcoming it with your certainty that everything will be okay. After your second or third interaction with her, however, she should be lightening up and joking back with you. If she isn’t, you can certainly keep flirting with her to keep in practice, but you should probably give up on her as someone who you’d want as a sexual partner. A woman who can’t play with you will not be fun to be in any kind of relationship with.

Similarly, you may discover that she is extremely sensitive and easily offended. If your flirting with her makes her angry, or if she delivers a lecture about how “there are some things you just don’t joke about,” you know that you want to avoid her. Likewise, if she starts to cry, or interacting with her scares you or makes you want to cry, you should avoid her as well.

Flirting helps her feel safe with you
Remember women’s number one fear when they first meet you? They are rightfully worried about whether you are dangerous or not. If you are able to be playful with a woman, she relaxes. Subconsciously she reasons, “He’s making me feel good. Therefore, he’s not dangerous.” Men who can’t flirt often scare women because they are so tense and cold that the woman’s natural fear of men is amplified, rather than dampened. When you can flirt playfully, you also show women you aren’t overly concerned about hurting her.

Flirting gets her used to the idea of being romantic with you
When you flirt with a woman, you create a different, imaginary world for the two of you. It’s a small step from this world of flirting to the world of romance.

Flirting gives you opportunities to practice your seduction skills
We suggest that all our students flirt with women constantly. Flirting gives you a chance to nibble away at learning seduction, like a mouse eating cheese, until you have mastered seduction. When you are first learning to flirt, it is important that you do it with all women, not just the ones you are attracted to.

Flirting makes you generative
When you flirt, you are always creatively making up new ways to delight the women who interest you. You can’t do this if you are into being depressed, needy, resentful, moody, or shut down. To flirt well you have to be energetic and creative. Ultimately, women like to be with men who are generative. Fortunately, practicing flirting as I describe will actually take you out of your moodiness and make you into the alive, vital kind of man who gets women.

Flirting gets you the date!
There’s not much more to say. The more you flirt successfully with a woman, the more natural it will be for her to want to go out with you.

Your Goal In Flirting

2007-02-22T23:22:00.001+08:00

When Bruce leaves the bank, he’s left the teller delighted, and looking forward to seeing him again. Indeed, this is Bruce’s goal. In any flirting situation with a woman, your goal is for her mind to connect the idea of seeing you with pleasure. Any effective seducer knows that women respond to their emotions, not to their logical minds. An effective seducer uses flirting to get women to have happy emotions every time they see him.

Flirting makes women happy to see you through a process called “anchoring.” Anchoring simply means that a certain stimulus – be it a sight, a sound, a smell, or a person – is always connected to a certain feeling. Most people, for example, see a police car in their rear-view mirror, siren blaring and lights flashing and connect with the feeling of fear. Their feelings automatically respond to the police-stimulus, their heart pumps, and they feel afraid. The two are anchored together.

Similarly, Bruce knows that he is the stimulus, and the feeling he wants to create is happiness in the woman. Just as a person automatically responds with fear to seeing a flashing police light, Bruce wants women to automatically respond to his presence with pleasure. He knows that flirting is the structure in which he makes this happen.

So You’ve Found The Women To Talk To: Now How Do You Do It ?

2007-02-22T12:30:00.000+08:00

Many men are very analytical in their approach to life. They think about life practically, and they think about women practically. They get caught in the paralysis of analysis. This is a huge error. Romance is not practical, logical, or even sensible.

Bob thinks women and romance should be logical. When he’s been attracted to women and had the nerve to actually approach them, he’s figured that it’s best to be direct. “After all,” he says, “women like men who are direct and honest. What could be more honest than telling them about my attraction to them?” He’s tried to seduce women friends by explaining to them how logical it would be for them to have relationship. “You say you like me, and I like you. It doesn’t make any sense for us to not get involved!” He’s never understood why they’ve said no to him. His practical, logical approach drives women away.

What is Flirting?
To date women successfully you must master flirting. Flirting is not practical or direct. But it does follow basic principles, and once you understand them, you’ll be miles ahead of other men in talking to and being successful with women.

Think about kids playing together. They don’t cry to accomplish anything; all they are interested in is games. They take on roles with each other effortlessly. They play cowboys, and one kid is the cowboy, another is the Indian. Or they play house, and one kid is the father and the other is the mother. Or they play doctor, and one kid is the doctor while the other is the patient. (That’s the kind of playing you want to do with adult women!) They dress up to get into the roles better. They let their imaginations run free. It’s all ultimately meaningless, but they don’t care; they just want to have fun.

They also love games, both pre-made and ones they make up. And most of the time, they aren’t overly concerned about winning. Just being together playing is enough to make them happy. Kids relate by playing, and if they can play, they feel relater to each other, though they don’t think about it that way. Playing is a way of being in “the zone” together.

Adults play differently. First, let’s look at how men play with men. I usually don’t think of it as play, but watching sports together, or talking about sports, is a way men play with each other. After all, sports are ultimately meaningless: which team wins the NBA title this year really isn’t going to make that big a difference in the grand scheme of things. It really isn’t. Sorry. But the point is, by caring about it together, by watching the games, yelling and screaming at the players together, and keeping track of the player’s statistics, men play together. Because of all this, they are feeling the togetherness and un-self-conscious love for each other that kids feel.

The other way men play together is through joking with each other and playing jokes on each other. The little jokes that men make about each other, the loving insults traded back and forth, are bonding for men.

Men and women, on the other hand, play together differently. As most men have discovered, playing with women the way they do with men doesn’t work. Women aren’t interested in sports statistics. And the jokes you make with your buddies only offend the women you know. Having learned this stuff the hard way, men decide to not play with women at all. They approach women the way Bob does, logically and practically. And they get no results at all.

Flirting is the way men and women play. If you can’t flirt, you can’t play with women, and if you can’t play with women, they won’t be romantically interested in you. Flirting is one of the ways women find out what you’ll be like as a lover, and what you’d be like in a relationship. If you aren’t playful, imaginative, and fun to be with when she first meets you, what will you be like to date? And what will you be in bed? Bob impresses the ladies as a cold fish. He seems stiff, analytical and calculating. Even if he can logically show them they should be interested in him, his lack of playfulness doesn’t touch them inside. His outcome-oriented approach is anything but playful.

Let’s look at how Bruce, an accomplished flirter, handles women he is attracted to. At the bank, for instance, he flirts with the cute female teller as he makes his deposits. “So,” he asks with a smile. “Do you get to keep a percentage of all the money you take in each day? It only seems fair, don’t you think?” She laughs and says, “Oh, that would be nice, especially on payday.” He jokes that “but then you might get docked a percentage of the money that goes out! We can’t be having that happen to you!” She laughs again, and notices her connection with him. As he leaves he says, “Thank you, O Banking Goddess!” “It’s not a bank – it’s a credit union!” she laughs after him. He leaves, and thinks about how happy she’ll be to see next time.

Bruce knows that flirting with a woman creates opportunities. It’s a chance to have fun interacting with a woman, to build up to asking her for a date, and to pre-qualify women to see if they are interested in sex and relationships. When Bruce flirts, he has fun and makes women like him. He finds out how responsive they are to him, and prepares them for going out with him. Teaching you how to do this is the focus of this chapter.

Seductive Poetry

2007-02-21T12:59:00.000+08:00

You can find short seductive poetry from books in the library, Shakespeare collections, or better yet, write some of you own. Something cheesy like the following will work well.

You,
I saw your lips move as you moved past me
My heart races as I think of your eyes,
I wish I could be the air you breathe,
You,
I want you
You,
I lust in my heart for you
You,
In candlelit rooms we enter each other
We disappear for hours in tender kisses
You,
My special angel, I want only you.

Reading poetry provides a way for women to talk to you and a reason for you to talk to women. It will give you confidence and let women know you are a romantic guy. As we’ll discuss later, when you describe a state of mind or a feeling, like lust and desire, the person you are speaking to will automatically remember what it is like when she feels that state. When you read a romantic poem, all the women in the audience will have to recall times when they felt the feelings you describe in your poems. Those are the feelings you want them to have, and it makes it easier for you to talk to them later.

Gimmicks can get women talking to you. As you develop your ability to come up with gimmicks that attract women and express some special part of yourself, you’ll find yourself surrounded by women who want to be with you.

Babe Bait: Gimmicks That Make Women Want to Meet You

2007-02-20T20:37:00.000+08:00

Every highly successful ladies’ man has some sort of a gimmick. Elvis used his fame, wealth, and charm to get any woman he wanted. JFK used his power as President to sleep with hot babes like Marilyn Monroe. Wilt Chamberlain used his basketball prowess to sleep with thousands of women. Since you probably aren’t rich and famous, you will have to come up with more creative ways to attract women’s attention. Here are some possibilities.

Dogs/dog related activities
Women love dogs. Dogs remind them of a carefree time in their childhood when they would dream of horses, puppy dogs, and Barbies. Not only do most women think dogs are “cute” (especially puppies), most of the people who go to dog training workshops and attend conventions are women.

Sure, you like dogs. They are fun to play ball with. Maybe you had a big dog when you were a kid, and some of your best memories are of your attempts to get your dog to bite people. While you probably associate them with pleasure, you may not associate dogs with romance, charm, and meeting women. You should. Believe us, dogs can be used as the perfect gimmick for shy guys who have a hard time making the first move.

Go to personal growth seminar
Do you want to meet an emotionally open woman who is willing to see you as a magical solution to her problems? Could this solution include a hot night with you? A personal growth seminar may be your ticket.

One of the key elements of most seminars is the deep level of bonding that quickly happens between participants. At a personal growth seminar, you will be in a group of people who are there to break out of their normal day-to-day routines and try something new. This can be good environment for you to experiment with new behaviors with women who will be much more receptive than those on the street or in a café.

Another element of most seminars is that they stress honesty. Usually this means emotional honesty. People who reveal their innermost secrets are often rewarded by the group leaders and gain the respect of fellow seminarians. This environment is perfect because you can come across as Mr. Sincere and Mr. Emotionally Honest & Available when you are actually just hitting on women.

Volunteer for causes
Do you remember what the biggest obstacle is when you meet a woman? The correct answer is that she will be concerned about whether or not you are violent and who will harm her. When she meets you at a volunteer event this concern can disappear quickly. What kind of men volunteer to help worthy causes? Guys who are trustworthy, honest, and responsible.

Many opportunities to volunteer for causes will lead to meeting women. You will usually be working side by side with a woman, or will have a woman leading a team of volunteers (this is an added bonus for all the submissive guys out there). Women volunteer for causes much more than men, so in the crowd of women volunteers you will be a novelty. Women will think that you are sensitive, moral, and safe, and your net worth to a woman will increase.

Volunteering is a good way to not only meet women, but to increase you net worth around them. You develop confidence and begin to focus on someone else for a change. This is a skill you will need if you ever want to have a long-term relationship.

Magic Tricks
This gimmick is time consuming on the front end. You have to learn a few tricks and practice them. Your guy friends may think you are a freak, but the women you meet with magic will be charmed.

Women love to be entertained by men. Learning a wide range of magic tricks can prove useful in meeting women in any situation.

Carry something odd
The downtown shopping area is filled with shoppers. Women in groups are window shopping and thrilled to be out spending lots of money at their favorite activity. Then comes you, the man holding the four-foot-tall stuffed bear or dog. The women laugh and want to touch it. “Where did you get it?” they ask.

This gimmick is very simple to use. The only requirement is the purchase or load of a large stuffed animal. Women will instantly be attracted to you and the animal. It is best if you sit on a bench or situate yourself in any easy accessible area that invites people to talk to you with ease.

Guys will think you are a dork. But while they are thinking that, you will be meeting women. It is best to start long conversations about your stuffed animal. The short conversations will be fun, but will rarely lead to dates. Focusing on longer conversations will insure more dates, and more long-term success.

Babies
Do you want to insure dates tonight? Borrow a friend’s baby and women will be all over you. Babies make all men look like great guys and will draw every woman in a 100-yard radius. They will instantly want to be with you and help with taking care of the baby. They will even want to date you just to be around the baby.

The obvious problem is that no sane person will loan you a baby so that you can go out and meet women. Realistically, the best strategy is to go around with a friend in hopes of meeting a woman. Taking a baby on a walk in a stroller with your male friend is much better. Women will want to come up and answer questions for you. If you pretend to be helpless and stupid it will work better.

Hand puppets
We once were sitting on a beautiful public outdoor terrace at the local university on a sunny afternoon, when a guy with a large, muppet-sized hand puppet arrived. We watched amazed as he took this charming puppet to each table, and charmed and entertained everyone there. He talked to all the women there, from the least attractive to the most, and ended up sitting with a group of laughing, giggly women. I never found out what happened to him and whether he got sex, but we admired his willingness to do what it takes to get the attention of women.

Read romantic poetry at poetry readings and open-mike events
With the explosion of coffee cafes, there has also been a rise in poetry readings and open-mike events. These are perfect opportunities to meet artistic women who would like an intellectual man to melt their hearts.

A woman wants to be with the kind of man who writes or recites poetry. She sees this type of man as a challenge. He is artistic, and so isolated from the world that no other woman has been able to reach him. She wants to be the one who finally brings him out of his shell.

You can get up and read anything and get women to talk to you. We recommend reading something romantic, as it will improve your chances of seduction. You could read a poem about how war is bad or how sad it is that children starve, but then women will be much less likely to respond. Read about love, and love you will get.

The Nine Secret Places To Meet Women

2007-02-20T11:45:00.000+08:00

What follows is a list of places that you probably don’t associate as prime woman-meeting spots. However, these are wonderfully secret hidden sources of lonely women waiting for you. I recommend that if you show up at one of the following events or places and there are no women you are interested in, move on immediately. If you quickly move on, and keep going on to the next opportunity, you are destined for success.

1. Yoga classes
Your local yoga class is a great place to meet new-age women. Yoga, in case you don’t know, is a form of exercise similar to stretching. Yoga comes from India and was used as a form of transcending the body and mind together. A woman who has been active in yoga for years usually has a wonderfully toned body. That’s another added advantage!

2. Cooking classes
Who do you think is attending all the exotic cooking classes? Women, of course. Who do you think is concerned with making good quality food? Women. Remember the cliché phrase, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” Women attend classes to make the men in their lives happy. Who do you think is not attending most cooking classes? Men. They are the ones missing out on the opportunity to meet women and learn great recipes.

Cooking classes are a great place to meet women for the same reasons as yoga classes are. In these situations, you are a rarity, a scarce resource. You will actually get rewarded for not knowing how to cook and botching up recipes. Women in the classes will end up feeling sorry for you and will often their services to help you. You can ask them for cooking dates to get them to your house. Furthermore, being in the class for six weeks or so will give you an opportunity to get to know the women in the class and let the seductions build on one another over time.

3. Church
A few years age I had a friend who claimed that church was the ultimate place to meet women. His name was Bart and he was the poster boy for geeks everywhere. He wore ‘50s-style glasses and outdated pants. However, Bart was always active in his church and a devout follower. He decided to use his faith to get women.

Bart began attending single events on weekends. He confessed to several members of his congregation that he was looking for a woman of faith. Since many churches like to promote dating and relationships from within their communities, many members of his congregation began setting him up.

4. Renaissance fairs
Summertime Renaissance Fairs happen everywhere, even in you area. While fairs of any sort are great to meet women, Renaissance ones are the best. These fairs attract the hippie, 1960s women who value peach, love, and freedom. In short, these are the types who will be open to meeting you and tend to be sexually open.

Another great place to meet women is with groups like the “Rainbow People.” The “Rainbow People,” as they call themselves, are basically hippies for the next millennium. They have local chapters in many communities, and the women can be quite, um, open. They also have week-long gatherings in the country at least once a year, where lots of sex occurs. But bring you own water; lots of dysentery occurs as well while people camp.

5. Outdoor music events
What would be more romantic than a concert under the stars? Women eat up this type of event. Depending on the type of musician who is performing, a concert can prove to be well worth the time and money.

Such a music event is a great place to meet women, if you are going alone. Single women attending in small groups are open to meeting men; instead, many of them go with that as their goal. If the music is jazz, classical, or pop rock (not punk or hard-rock). It will be easier to make a connection. The hard-rock outdoor shows will have lots of drunk underage women. Obviously, you have to watch out for women who look attractive and seem mature, but who in fact are 17.

6. The cooking utensil section of any store
Any gourmet cooking store is likely to have classy women hanging out looking at utensils. These are the places in which you have easy openings to talk. Your best bet is to visit on weekends. You can then approach a good looking woman and ask her questions about cooking utensils. Ask her for her advice on which garlic press is the best and which spatula would be good for French food.

The women shopping in these stores will probably be over 35. This is great if you are looking for marriage-minded women into serious relationships, or for a divorcee who would love some sex. This is not good if all you want is a roll in the hay with a 20-something girl.

7. Dance classes
Dancing close to a woman is still one of the most romantic things you can do. The old time male sex symbols are still popular among women because they possess a flair for charm and romance. Fred Astaire, Bing Croby, and others are still the fantasy of many women. Part of that charm was their ability to sweep a woman off her feet with dancing and romantic talk. They could be subtle and forward at the same time.

Dance classes are great places to meet women and start a seduction. First, women respect men who learn “old time” romantic activities, like dancing. They will hopefully cut you some slack if you are a crappy dancer – after all, you are attending the class to learn, aren’t you? Second, they will likely want to dance with you because so few men take dance classes that you are a rare commodity. And third, you will be able to flirt with them over multiple weeks, and seduce them slowly.

8. Bars associated with hotels where traveling businesswomen stay
Businesswomen on the tend to be open to sexual experimentation and tend to be more promiscuous. The “high end” hotels in your town will likely have many traveling businesswomen hanging out in the bar or lounge are late at night. Yes, they are lonely, and yes, they would love to have company. Just like their male counterparts, they get lonely on the road and want affection, love, and pampering from a man. You know how stressful it is to be on the road, not knowing anyone, and having to be in charge for hours a day at meetings. At the end of the day they want exactly what we want: a warm body, a good beer, and sex.

9. The internet
Shy? Scared of talking women? Scared of showing your romantic interest, taking charge and risking rejection? Of course you are. No problem, though: there is a place where you can practice seducing women where any rejection seems minimal, successes are easy, and you can refine your style and your understanding of seduction. This place is the Internet.

If you are lonely, shy and horny, you must get onto the international sex superhighway called the Internet. The parts of the Internet we are concerned with here are the World Wide Web, Personals Ad Newsgroups, and Internet Chat Rooms.

The bottom line is this: you have no excuse to not be meeting women, even if you are shy. If you offend a woman on the Internet, in a letter, or in voice mail message, she simply doesn’t write or call back. So what? The Internet is a place to build your confidence and develop your seduction skill mastery.

Because there is no magical solution, you won’t always be so lucky. However, you can persistent in going to places and attending events where women will be open to dating, and you will eventually have success.

The Four Easiest Places To Meet Women

2007-02-20T01:52:00.000+08:00

Bruce is in the habit of visiting the same places regularly. This practice opens up many opportunities to ask out women and creates a basis for rapport. Social scientists have shown that the more you see someone and have contact with that person, the more attracted you are. This is called attraction by familiarity. This fact alone should inspire you to find ways to interact with the same people on a regular basis. Here’s a list of four places you can go in a regular basis to meet women and create an attraction by familiarity.

1. Coffee shops
Coffee shops are rapidly becoming the hottest new place to meet women. Singles all over the country are using them as potential pick-up sports. The trend is not just happening in Seattle. We’re sure your local coffee place has a good sampling of women.

Bruce demonstrated how useful it is to become a regular at a coffee shop. They tend to be like small communities. The same cast of characters shows up at approximately the same time every day. It is good for you to get into a routine with a place. This way you can get to know the regulars. A woman may be sipping hot java and hanging out with her friends. Or she may be reading a book or writing in her journal. Knowing many of the employees and regulars will also make it easier to meet other customers.

2. Restaurants
Restaurants are another great place to find dates. Women love to go out to eat. The better the food and more expensive, the more women like it. Again, restaurants put people in a festive mood and they’re open to new experiences. Besides, women love to get dressed up and go out. Even if you get rejected, it is good for your self-confidence to be interacting with women who are dressed attractively. The best restaurants in which to met women are ones with large bar areas an patio seating.

Waitresses are the best part of restaurants. By becoming familiar with a restaurant and the waitresses, you can easily turn food service into sex service.

3. Gyms
Everyone thinks gyms are crawling with singles looking for dates and sex. This certainly hasn’t been our experience. Perhaps working out at the most industrial gym in town doesn’t help. Gyms are good, however, for making contacts with women and getting occasional dates. We’ve often seen our gym full of chubby, married, middle-aged women, who look annoyed when you even glance at them. On the other hand, our students continue to report that they’ve met women at the gym. They comment that at the gym it is fun just to stare at the tight-bodied females.

I recommend the gym to you because working out improves your body, and, hence, your net worth with women. By working out a few times per week you can lose the gut and increase your stamina. It is even said to increase your testosterone levels.

The other advantage is that some women are looking for a man in the gym. By becoming familiar with a woman and her schedule, you can start conversations and work on her over time until you ask her out.

4. Bookstores
Are you looking for a sexy, smart, and untamed woman? By frequenting bookstores you can meet lonely intellectuals. Women you meet in bookstores will often be receptive to you because there you will find women who are smart and can’t find a guy. Why do you think women read so many romance novels and weird fiction anyway? Many bookstores are packed with women on Friday night. They are looking for something, and it isn’t just another Martha Stewart book.

One of my friends met an attractive woman looking at books in the Sex section of a large chain bookstore. Though he thought it was corny, he made a joke about the book she was reading. She was receptive to him and they joked about penis enlargement toys. Later, he got her e-mail address and they e-mailed back and forth for a few weeks, and later dated.

The other added bones about bookstores is that many of them have attached coffee shops, so you can meet a woman and then take her out for coffee right away to continue the seduction.

Leaves The House Ready To Party

2007-02-19T09:18:00.001+08:00

Looking good at all times, no matter what, is an important part success with women. Many men make the mistake of leaving the house not ready to meet women. I am not suggesting that you always have to be wearing a suit. However, I am suggesting that you seriously consider what you are wearing and consider whether or not it is appropriate for meeting a women. You read about this in depth in the previous blog. Even if you are wearing sweat pants and a T-shirt you can present yourself in a manner that will be attractive to women. Keep it in mind.

Bruce is always ready to flirt, no matter what. It’s part of being a world-class stud. Behind all of the flirtation is many hours of preparation. He has memorized seductive questions and opening lines. He has decide ahead of time how many women he will talk to in a day. In later chapters you will learn pick-up lines and approaches to meeting women. Bruce can easily use many different approaches and ways to meet women, so he is ready to flirt in any situation.

Bruce has studies seduction in great detail, like a martial artist who studies and anticipates every situation. Like the martial artist, Bruce prepares for all the different options and is ready to create new alternatives that are easily applicable to any situation that may come this way.

Pretends You Are A World-class Stud

2007-02-18T21:13:00.000+08:00

I mentioned earlier about the importance of modeling other men. It is useful to model your dress, approach, lines and general demeanor, after a highly successful seducer.

One of the things that Bruce does constantly in act like he is the man. He acts in a confident manner. Secretly, Bruce models himself after a character John Travolta played in the movie Get Shorty. He also uses his friend Sam as a role model. Sam is always surrounded by women and dates frequently. Bruce has learned that if he does what Sam does he tends to be more successful with women than if he doesn’t.

Bruce Flirts With and Prospects Lots of Women

2007-02-18T12:48:00.001+08:00

I’ve explained that master seducers not only play it like a numbers game, but they also don’t put all their eggs in one basket. They pursue lots and lots of women.

Even if women are not receptive, the practice is well worth the effort. Bruce views flirting and prospecting women as part of the reason for his success. When you practice something long enough you will develop mastery. By flirting often, you master your speaking skills with women. All of us can point to skills in our lives that we studied for a long, long time until we could do them effortlessly. Riding a bike, tying your shoes and memorizing multiplication tables are all examples.

Flirting with lots of women also generates a high level of vitality and confidence in yourself that is infectious to women. When you are talking to many women you successes build on one another and it helps you to get more dates and be more vital in other areas of your life. On e definition of vitality is that it is a reflection of how bold you are in life. It can be measured by how much of a public personality you are, how willing you are to be outrageous. Women want you to be powerful and confident in public and private. Flirting with lots of women will help develop these qualities in you.

Another reason to flirt with lots of women is that it will eventually lead to big results, we believe that small, consistent actions eventually lead to success. We all know the story of how successful the turtle was because he was slow but steady, unlike the hare who was quick but got sloppy and lazy. The same is true with pursuing women. When you constantly flirt with women it will have a multiplier effect, and aid in current and future successes with women.

Bruce Knows It’s A Numbers Game

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Bruce lives his life from the “numbers game” analogy I discussed earlier. He knows that like sales, dating is all about numbers. He knows that if he flirts with ten women, one will give him her number. If he sets up ten dates, four women will actually show up. He knows that of those four, he will sleep with at least one. Bruce uses his philosophy to boost himself up when he is rejected. To him it is just one more interaction with a woman that will eventually lead to a “yes.”

Relentlessly Follow-up Leads

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Bruce is relentless in his quest for women. He is hitting on so many women in one day that he couldn’t care less if one or man don’t work out. He is focusing on the long-term goal of having dozens of women he can call in an instant and sleep with that night.

He is constantly following up leads at restaurants, on the phone, e-mail, and in the stores and other places he frequents. Like the hungry salesman, he does what it takes to get as many women as he can

Have Your Friends Egg You On

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As men, whether we admit it or not, we love competition. It is useful to use our innate competitiveness to egg on ourselves and our friends to date more women and to do outrageous things we may not normally think to do.

We used this principle frequently to push each other to get out and date more. We would tease each other and dare each other to approach a beautiful woman. We placed bets on each other’s success and failure rates.

Once again, it’s important to have male friends who are supportive. If the competition becomes something that has you feel like a failure, stop doing it immediately. I am encouraging you to have friends to both console you when things go bad and encourage you when you get scared and are not able to be in action. No one understands all the potential pitfalls, problems, and pleasures of dating better than another man. If you are a guy with few men friends, and mostly hang out with women, this much change. Having male friends egg you on will produce results that far exceed any advice that women will give you.

The Rules of The Dating Game:

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Rule 1. Nothing is personal. Have you ever been playing a game with other people when it suddenly stopped being a game, and started being personal? One man tells me about a soccer league he was in. The game was going great, when suddenly one of the players attacked a guy in the other team. “Suddenly it wasn’t a game anymore,” he tells me. “He took personally a move the other guy made, and just lost it.” This is one of the quickest ways to destroy a game; then it starts being real.

No matter what a woman does, don’t take it personally. Does this mean you can kiss a woman and grab her body and ignore her saying “no”? Absolutely not. But when you say “hi” to a woman and she glare at you, or when you ask a woman out and she says “no,” you should simply not take it personally. If you do, you will suffer and not get the sex you desire. The point is, you don’t really know the reasons why she rejects your advances or blows you off. If you take her behaviors personally, it won’t be a game anymore, and it won’t be fun.

On the other hand, if a woman responds favorably to your flirtations, then you should take it personally. You should remember that she is attracted you, and that you are the one who made it happen. So, feel acknowledged when things go well, and don’t take it personally when things don’t work out.

Rule 2: Be Playful. Recently I observed a below-average-looking, 55-year-old overweight insurance salesman pick up on a beautiful young woman. I am at a restaurant and he came in to use the bathroom. He asked the cashier about some of the paintings on the wall and joked with her about how ugly and out of date they were. She laughed and smiled at him. She asked him if he wanted to be seated, and he said that he was going to the nearby grocery store to do his shopping. He reached out his hand to say good-bye to her. She extended her hand and he kissed it slowly and said, “It has been a pleasure meeting such a lovely and beautiful woman.” She blushed and fanned herself with a menu pretending that he had made her hot and bothered. She gave him a drink in a to-go cup and asked him to stay and talk to her. Because he was able to be playful, he created an opening to charm her. This guy, even though he is below-average-looking, as learned to swoon women and can easily get women to date and have sex with.

Rule 3. Don’t Give Up. Just like in any game, persistence makes a difference. Even if you don’t think you’ll win the game, you’ll enjoy it much more if you don’t give up and you play to win, anyway.

This is Bruce’s attitude. It doesn’t matter to him if he wins or loses, just how he plays the game, and he plays to win even when the odds are against him. Most of the women he flirts with he never sleep with, but he doesn’t care. He simply pushes each interaction as far as it can go, then moves on to the next one. He knows that if you give up in a game, the game is over. Because he enjoys the game, he wants to stay with it.

Being persistent and playing to win makes you into a man who doesn’t give up easily, and being a man who doesn’t give up will bring you more success than you ever thought possible. There’s a story about a boy in a math class. He had dozed off, and awoke to find the teacher writing a problem on the board. Thinking that the problem was a homework assignment, he scribbled it into his notebook, and took it home with him.

For the next two days, he spent every free waking moment working on the problem. Finally, he got the answer and took it to his teacher. She was shocked – it turned out the problem was supposed to be insoluble, and she had only written it on the board as an example. He was able to solve it because he played to win, and didn’t know that he “couldn’t.” He didn’t give up when the going got rough, just as Bruce doesn’t.

Rule 4. Use Probabilities. In the dating game, probabilities are fun, too. They make the game more fun and make interactions with women more about numbers than about some huge ego risk. On a particular night you may see a beautiful woman across from you in a bar and use probabilities to create the percent chance that you could go home with her. You might give yourself a 5 percent chance that she will talk to you. There might be a 1 percent chance that you could buy her a drink and a 0.5 percent chance that you could sleep with her tonight. If she’s less beautiful or more drunk, your probabilities may go up. It sounds silly, but using this technique creates a framework of fun.

When you follow the rules, dating becomes more like a game, less threatening and scary, and more fun for everybody. You know games have ups and downs, wins and losses. You don’t go into games putting your ego on the line, or feel like there’s something wrong with you if you don’t win every time.

Make It A Game

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When I say “game,” what do you think of? Many men associate game with competition – often fierce competition characterized by battle, conflict, hard feelings, losing and being upset. Or you may by the type who associates games with intellectual, manipulative ploys. Another type associates games with fun, creative expression, freedom, and wonder.

For the sake of this blog, “game” means something that is fun and has no negative consequences if you make mistakes while playing it. For most men, dating is serious, and any screw-ups have negative consequences to their self-esteem. Dating seems difficult, like a test of manhood. I want to change that idea. Dating will be radically easier for you if you take it less seriously and make it fun.

Bruce thinks of dating as a game, and you must, too. Then you create a lightness and a freedom in your life. Bruce’s attractiveness with women comes as much from his game attitude as from anything else. He’s fun, playful, not too serious, and has a life woman want to be part of.

Lesson From the Master

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Bruce flirts with every woman
Many men complain that their one or two attempts to meet women and get dates didn’t produce results. These men give up if they don’t get instant gratification from women. They think that all the time they spend thinking about sex and admiring women’s bodies is the same as being out there flirting and asking for dates. Bruce is not like this. He knows that each woman he comes into contact with is another possibility. He flirts and flirts and flirts. He doesn’t count on any one woman to be his source of sex; he is unrelenting in meeting new women. Bruce learned a long time ago that he who hesitates, masturbates, so he flirts with women at every opportunity.

Bruce knows that every seduction is a thousand interactions. Remember when President Bush wanted everyone to join his thousand points of light? We want you to join our new thousand interactions. Whether you want a one-night stand, a long-term relationship, or anything in between, you’ll do much better remembering that every seduction is made up pf a thousand interactions.

Most men we work with get sloppy in their approach with women and try to complete an entire seduction in a few small interactions. They think that once they’ve met a woman, or asked her out, the work is done. They fail to realize that successfully keeping a woman happy and romantically interested is a daily, moment-by-moment task. Bruce realizes this and knows that there is always work to do. He never gets complacent with women. He is always doing follow-up calls, e-mailing women, visiting familiar waitresses, and making dozens of other bold moves.

The small consistent steps Bruce makes add up to big seduction success. Always remember that it takes dozens if not hundred of initiations to get a woman in bed. You must do the work, just as Bruce does.

The Four Excuses That Keep You From Meeting Women

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The reason Bob is so unsuccessful is that he lets negative beliefs run his life. He is probably a lot like you, and certainly a lot like us before we learned the secrets of seduction. His negative beliefs and concerns dictate how he acts, which, in turn, dictate how successful (or unsuccessful) he is with women. The concerns and beliefs become excuses that Bob uses to keep himself from pursuing women. The following four excuses are often occupying Bob’s mind, and they destroy his success with women. If you don’t deal with them, they will destroy your success with women, too.

Excuse 1. “It takes too much time.”
Bob looks at his daily schedule and whines that he simply doesn’t have enough time. He can’t meet women, he claims, because he is always busy. He claims he’s not scared of women, just too rushed, overloaded with too many responsibilities. We know this is not true. In fact, meeting women is not as time consuming as you may think, and much of the “dead time” in your life – waiting in lines, for instance – is prime women-meeting time.

As Bruce demonstrated, however, flirting and dating women does take sometime; there’s no way around it. But it is worth it. While dating women may take time up front, after the women are in place, the time required to maintain the relationships is very minimal.

Bruce doesn’t view flirting with and dating women as time-consuming because he enjoys it so much. To him, it is his fun-time. It is one of the things that brings him joy in his day. Occasionally it seems like work, buy usually he finds himself naturally interacting with women and talking without any effort on his part.

Once you have skills in place, you won’t have to spend nearly as much time on them. Bruce has many things he does on a daily basis that keep him in practice and make him succeed in dating. He talks to women, smiles and says “hi,” and flirts. These things don’t take much time on their own, but the cumulative effect is tremendous.

Excuse 2. “It will hurt my reputation”
Many men, bob included, worry too much about their reputations. They fear being “found out.” They worry that their friends will think they are desperate, and won’t respect them. Many people look down on men who are interested in dating, especially on those who are only looking for short-term sexual relationships. Some men don’t even try with women, because of this fear.

You handle this by being careful. You must be discreet and watch your back. It is okay to share your desires with your male friends. One caveat, though, is that hey must have earned your respect. In male friendships it is often necessary to test the other for his level of trustworthiness. If you trust another man, then you can tell him about your project of dating; otherwise don’t. A good rule of thumb is to keep your dating life and work life completely separate. It will insure your job and the integrity of your work relationships and will give you more freedom when you are with women no one else knows. After a while, if you have a serious girlfriend, then she can visit you at work. Otherwise, no.

Bob uses concerns about his reputation as an excuse to not get out there and talk to women. He says, “what if I do ask out that woman I’m so interested in? I can just see how disgusted she’ll be by the idea, and I just know she’ll tell all our mutual friends. I can see them now, laughing at me.” He also moans that he doesn’t like to go to pick-up bars because he fears he will see someone he knows.

These fears are totally stupid because if you see someone you know, each of you has the same knowledge of the other. If you keep your mouth shut, so will be. Having a certain level of concern about your reputation is healthy, but a paranoia for all potential situations will not allow you opportunities to meet women.

Excuse 3. “I just can’t do it.”
All of my friends, at some point, have felt as though they were fundamentally inadequate when it came to meeting women and dating. Perhaps they were just beginning to learn how to date women, and it all seemed too overwhelming. Or perhaps they had asked out ten women in a row, all of whom said “no.” Maybe the last three women they had seduced had gotten almost to the point of having sex with them, then decided to just be “friends.” Whatever the reason, t is only natural to sometimes feel as though you just can’t do it.

In a way, feeling like a failure is good because your dissatisfaction can get you in action, ready to fight back and prove that you can do it. Seen this way, feeling like a failure is actually an opportunity to prove that you aren’t one. You’ve probably experienced feeling bad about something until suddenly you couldn’t stand feeling bad about it anymore. People who are depressed often report that this happens; they can’t stand being so down anymore, so they begin changing and improving their lives. It’s sometimes said that it’s best to kick a man when he’s own; that way, he’ll get up faster. When thinking you can’t approach women gets painful enough, you’ll naturally start to approach them just to get rid of the pain of feeling like such a wimp.

You must make sure you get support when you think you can’t do it. If you have men friends who are also reading this blog, go to them to be reminded that things will get better, and to be reminded of the long-term goal you are working for. Go to men who will remind you of your successes with women so far, no matter how small they may be. When you have support, you’ll be able to keep trying.

Excuse 4. “I don’t know how to seduce women.”
No one taught you, or any of us, how to meet and seduce women. Some men are just “naturals” at it, while the rest of us have been relying on hope and luck. In a way, “I don’t know how to seduce women” is a reasonable concern. After all, it’s true, isn’t it?

You are holding in your hands the answer to this final excuse. Once you finish this book, and you know what there is to study and practice, all you to do is keep trying, and you will succeed.

These four excuses keep men from taking action to get the women they want. You must give them up and stop whining if you are going to become a seduction machine.

Four Things You Can Do Today to be Confident With Women

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1. Groom like a man who is confident with women
Think about grooming. Today might be a good day to try a new aftershave, or to get a better quality shampoo or conditioner. You may want to make an appointment with a good hair stylist to get your hair cut in a new way. Or you may want to get your teeth cleaned. Wash and style your hair, and trim any unwanted hair in your nose and ears. Notice how much more confident you feel when you are well groomed and looking good!

2. Dress like a man who is confident with women
Go to your closet and look at your clothes. What are the best outfits you have for seducing women, and what are the worst? Notice the shirts and pants that you should wear more often, and those that you should wear less around women. Also look at your details: What are the most attractive shoes you own? The most attractive belt? Hat? What earrings, bracelets, rings or other jewelry do you have that might be attractive to women? What clothes fit your body best, and are in best repair? What clothes make you feel most attractive when you wear them? What is your most attractive outfit?

Be aware that your most attractive outfit may not be the fanciest, or the most expensive. You may not look best in a suit, for instance; you may look best in a well-fitting sports shirts and a pair of clean, ironed jeans, with nice sneakers and a black belt. Whatever it is, put it on and wear it today. If you need to iron it first, do so. Notice the confidence wearing this outfit gives you with women, and commit yourself to developing a wardrobe of clothes that make you feel the same way.

3. Move like a man who is confident with women
At any time, you can change the way you hold and move your body, and change your level of confidence and how you feel. If you don’t believe us, try slumping and slouching, letting your shoulders come forward as if you were terribly depressed. Breathe shallowly. If you really take on this posture, you will feel less confident, and will eventually actually become depressed!

Fortunately, this works both ways. The same body you can use to make you feel unconfident and depressed, you can use to make you feel just the opposite. Try it now. Take on the posture of a man who is confident with women. Imagine, as weird as it may seen, that you are inside his body. How does he sit? How does he stand? Are his shoulders forward, or back? Put your shoulders there. Is his head up, or down? Put your head that way, too. Does this confident man breathe deeply? Do it! What’s this confident man’s facial expression? Try it out! It may seem crazy, but if you try it, you will notice a difference; you may even want to stand up and practice walking around with the posture of a confident man.

Imagine how useful this could be when you are approaching a woman. Before talking to her you take on the posture that makes you feel more confident and, breathing deeply, tall and relaxed, you approach her. If you practice this posture every day, you’ll find it brings out your innate confidence, and becomes natural for you.

4. Pursue like a man who is confident with women
Now groomed, dressed and moving well, commit yourself to having interaction with a woman today in which you pursue her romantically, while at the same time not worrying about whether your outcome happens or not. Put yourself into the zone, and give yourself the freedom of not worrying about the outcome. You may want to commit yourself to asking a woman for her phone number. You may want to ask a woman out. You may simply want to make it clear to a woman you meet that you are attracted to her. Whatever it is that you do, make it a little more risky than you are comfortable with – and, most important, give up worrying about whether she says yes or no.

Think again about the first questions I asked you at the beginning of this chapter. What kind of woman do you want? What’s most important to you in a woman? Is it that she be tall, or short? That she have wonderful breasts? That she be blonde, or brunette? That she be smart, or rich? What exactly do you want?

And then think again about the next questions I asked you: what kind of a man will you have to be to get that woman into your life and into your bed? Are you that kind of man already?

If you are like most men, you’ve realized that you aren’t yet the kind of man you’ll need to be to get the kind of women you desire. What you need is to develop your personal style – your way of dressing, and your confidence. You’ve seen how the way you dress sends a message to women, and have learned how to take control of that message so that it says, “I’m interesting, mature and attractive. You want to be with me.” You’ve learned that it doesn’t matter what mature gave you; what matters is what you do with it in how you dress, move and act. You’ve learned how make your car and home romantic, and learned how to overcome the two stumbling blocks to confidence with women – fear of rejection, and fear of hurting women. You’ve learned the importance of not relying on women validate you, but rather getting your validation from your life. You’ve learned how to be in the zone with women by giving up worrying about the outcomes of your seduction, and simply pursuing what you desire, no matter what happens. And you’ve learned the four things you can do today to be more confident with women than ever before.

As you develop your personal style you will discover many benefits it brings beyond simply being attractive to women. Once you start, you’ll find women are more attracted to you than they’ve been before.

Happy Valentine's Day To You All !~!

Other Confidence Builders: Easy Ways To Raise Your Confidence Level

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Be in “The Zone”
Peak performers talk about being in “the zone” or in “the flow”. You are in the zone when you are at your best, when all your inner resources are available to you, and when you seem to automatically handle everything well.

We’ve all had these moments. Sometimes they take place during sports, when a rock-climber, for instance, is so engaged in the climb that he forgets about everything else in the world but what he is doing. Surgeons report that when they are doing surgery, they are so involved that it’s like they are in perfect harmony with the world around them. If you can remember a time when you effortlessly and peacefully performed beyond what you usually were able to do, you have been in the zone.

People who are falling in live are in the zone. You probably have felt it. When you were with her, it was like time stood still. You could do no wrong, and life, when you were with her, seemed effortless. When you were together you were creative and happy, and not worried about yourself or about your life. This is the zone as well.

Let’s look at the opposite example. Randy was very interested in Donna. He thought she was cute and mysterious and very much wanted to have a romantic relationship with her. It was terribly important to him that all of his interaction with her be great for her, so that she’d like him and want to go out with him. He was so focused on this goal, and on how bad it would be if she didn’t like him, that he was weird and distracted when he was with her. “I was such a jerk,” he says now. “I so wanted to impress her that I talked a mile a minute, made jokes that weren’t funny, and was all-around a tense, jumpy guy.” Because he couldn’t stop thinking about his outcome - having her like him – he could never be relaxed and unconcerned with her. “I scared her off,” he says. “I was so wrapped up in what I wanted to happen with her, I never was present with her when we were together.” His inability to pursue his goal with her, and give up worrying about the goal at the same time, made him out of the zone, forced, and not attractive.

Women you have chemistry with are women you are pursuing, but you are not worried about the outcome. For some reason, with certain women, it’s easy for you to not worry, and to get into the zone. You can, however, train yourself to worry less and less in your interactions with women by simply making that your intention. You can remind yourself, when you go into interactions with women, that the outcome isn’t important. When you do this, you’ll find that you are getting into the zone, that you are more relaxed, and that you have better chemistry. When Randy learns to not be worried about how it goes with Donna, and has some faith that everything will be okay, he relaxes, and it makes it easier for Donna to get to know him and to find him attractive. All the rest of the tools you learn in this blog – seduction strategies, meeting women, going for that first kiss, and more – will be much easier to practice and have success with if you train yourself to follow this credo.

Make decisions
Decision-making is a muscle that gives you control over and confidence in your life. But you must practice. You don’t want to be a control freak with women, but you don’t want to be a useless wad of indecisiveness, either. Being decisive means you never, every say, “Oh, I don’t know, what do you want to do?” it means that when those little meaningless choices come up during the date – such as what table to sit at – you decide quickly and easily. If she’d rather sit somewhere else, then you can say “sure,” but always make decisions quickly when you are with her. This shows her that you are a guy who is in charge of his life and not wishy-washy, and will put you miles ahead of most of the other guys she meets. This seems obvious and simple, but it builds your confidence and sets the stage for seduction.

Other Ways to Overcome The Fear of Rejection

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Have a “piece on the side.” As you begin to develop your harem of available sex kittens, you are at a disadvantage. As usual, success breeds success. The more sex you are getting, the more confident about sex you will become and the more new women you will attract. But at the beginning, you don’t have the confidence of lots of past success, and that slows down your ability to get that first woman on a date and into bed

Though it is not available to every man, having a “piece on the side” can generate the erotic confidence that allows you to get even more women. A “piece on the side” is a woman who you have occasional sex with – say, once a month – though you might not really want her very much. She is a woman you know you can have, but who isn’t attractive enough for you to try to start a relationship with. Am occasional sex partner like this can build your sexual self-esteem and enable you to take the risks that get you into bed with the women you really want.

So who could be a potential “piece on the side?” They may be ex-girlfriend, women who are not extremely attractive, much older women, close female friends, women who understand you don’t want a relationship, or married women. When you have a “piece on the side,” you know you aren’t a total loser. If you look hard enough at your life you will usually find at least one woman who would sleep with you. Try her out and see what happens.

I’ve had friends say “Yeah, the date didn’t go so well, so afterwards I went to the house of my “piece on the side.” They were able to get sex when they wanted it. As a result, they were empowered to pursue the sex they really wanted.

Get you validation from your life, not from women. Too many men rely on women for their sense of validation, self-respect, and self-esteem. They live as if women’s opinions of them are what matters. If they have a good interaction with an attractive woman, they feel good about themselves. When an interaction goes bad, they feel badly about themselves. This need to be validated by women in order to feel good about themselves robs these men of their confidence with women.

If you want to have an easy sense of confidence with women, how do you make this work? Practically, this means finding ways to be in love with your own life, and to have the things you are up to in your life be validating for you. Success with women and success with life are similar. Just as women won’t go out of their way to bring you sexual success, life doesn’t go out of its way to bring you life-success. Just as your sex life is your responsibility to make the way you want it, your life as a whole is your responsibility to make the way you want it. If you want success with women, it makes sense to have long-term goals for your life that inspire you and that you are moving towards, no matter how slowly. If you do this, you’ll get your validation from your lift, rather than from woman.

Woman are attracted to men who have passion and fire for their lives. They aren’t any more interested in providing the validation for your life than you are in providing the validation for theirs. When you have goals, male friends, and a life that inspires you, you’ll be validated by what you are up to, and women will want to be a part of your life. If won’t matter to you if they say “yes” or “no” when you ask them out, seduce them, and go for that first kiss. You’ll be validated by your life, and easily able to move on the next woman.

How to Become Confident With Women

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Overcoming the two stumbling Blocks on the Road to Confidence. Confidence stumbling block #1: Fear of Rejection

While the successful seducer knows that every “no” is only another step on the way to he inevitable “YES”, a man who fears rejection fears it because he makes it mean that there is something wrong with him. Here are some solutions:

The 30 Days Program for Getting Over Fear Of Rejection.
You must get yourself so used to rejection from women that it no longer has any negative meaning to you. A simple way to do this is to start small, with the easy-to-follow, thirty-day rejection-stomping confidence-building program.

If you are scared to talk to women and scared of rejection from women, this simple program will get you talking to them daily, and laughing in the face of rejection. It’s straight forward, painless, and easy to do. It’s based on a simple two-letter word that, when you use it with women, will build your confidence, start your talking, and be the first step in getting women into your life.

Are you ready for the word ??

The word is “Hi!” To build your confidence with women and to overcome your fear of rejection, for the next thirty days, say “hi” to women in public at least six times a day. That’s all there is to it. You are walking down the street, you see an attractive women, you say “hi” to her, and walk on. You see the next attractive women, and you say “hi” to her, too. And so on.

Don’t be deceived by the simplicity of this program. If you are willing to actually do it, and to actually say “hi” to a member of women out in public every day, your confidence will rise, your fear of rejection will diminish, and your success with women will improve. Here’s why:

First, your confidence will improve because you actually will be talking to women. Saying “hi” is wonderful because the interaction ends quickly. Like some other techniques I’ll show you for building confidence, the “hi” interaction doesn’t put your ego on the line, and doesn’t give her much chance to reject you. What’s the worst thing she’ll do, glare at you as you walk by? Who cares? It’s not like you’ve risked your whole ego by asking her out or trying to kiss her. You’ll get into the habit of seeing women who attract you, and talking to them. And that’s good.

Second, women’s responses to you will become less important to you. You’ll find that you are being the kind of man you want to be, the kind of man who says hello to whatever kind of woman appeals to him, no matter what her response might be. You’ll become less scared of rejection as you notice that some women smile and say “hi” back, that some women are in their own world and don’t even seem to notice you spoke, and that some women glare at you darkly and reach for their police whistle. You’ll start to see that it doesn’t matter; all that matters is that you are making life work for you by starting to approach the women who attract you.

Third, you actually will get into more conversations with women if you set a precedent of talking to them right away. Have you ever been in a situation in which you would have spoken to a woman, but the fact that you’ve initially ignored her makes it hard to start? This happened to my friend. After you have practice saying “hi” for a few weeks, it’ll be second nature for you to see that woman in line, look her in the face, smile, and say “hi”. You’ll be relaxed and not concerned with her response. And it will then be natural for the two of you to talk more, and for you to be able to use the tools from the rest of this book to seduce her.

The Five Secrets of A Seductive Home

2007-02-12T00:16:00.000+08:00

Think about your home. Think about the kitchen, the living room, your bedroom. Picture it in your mind. Now ask yourself the following questions:

First ask yourself, “Is this a home that will make the women I most desire to have sex with me?” most of the men I work with have to answer, “no”. When they look at their homes from the perspective of the women they desire, they find they can understand why these women wouldn’t want them.

Second, ask yourself, “What’s the message my home sends to the women I’m attracted to?” Most men find that their home doesn’t send the message they want to send. It sends messages like “I’m still a boy” or “I’m not really going anywhere in my life.” If your home doesn’t seem like a comfortable place to spend romantic time in, then you are sending a message that “romance isn’t important to me.”

Now think about homes you’ve seen that seem to send romantic messages to women. While many of these homes may seem expensive, and expensively furnished, their style follows basic principles you can follow, too, to make your home more inviting and romantic. While this entire list needs to be followed only right before a date, it will be easier for you if the basics are in place all of the time.

1. A Seductive home looks like an adult lives there
A seductive home is not a dorm room, a closet, a warehouse, a garbage dump, or a science experiment. It’s not a place for random friends to hang out, or a pornographic poster supply house. Any of these things will leave women thinking that you are still stuck in your adolescence, and they won’t desire you.

2. A seductive home is clean
Specifically, the details should be clean. It’s best if the miniblinds are clean , and there are no dust-bunnies in the corners. The areas that are most important to your date should be cleanest, and the areas that are least important, or that you think you can keep your date out of, can be ignored. If she wouldn’t see your kitchen unless she spent the night, for instance, you can get away without cleaning it. Because she will already have had sex with you by the time she sees it the next morning, the fact that it is a mess won’t wreck your chances with her.

The bathroom, on the other hand, must be absolutely clean. There is no middle ground on this one. One man I know tried to get around this by talking the lightbulb out of the bathroom so his date couldn’t see how dirty it was. This only annoyed her. You must clean the bathroom thoroughly before a date comes to your house.

3. A seductive home is properly lit
The lighting should be subdued and controlled. Bright overhead lights will make your date feel tense, like she’s being interrogated. Try soft, reflected light. This can be a lamp with a 40-watt bulb, rather than a 100-watt bulb, or candles, or light coming in from the next room. There should be shadows and patterns of light and mystery. It should be welcoming, not antiseptic. This idea is hard for many men to grasp because they are used to lighting spaces in order to get things done in them. Did you know that some women try to stay out of fluorescent lighting because of how it makes them look? Your seductive rooms aren’t workshops. Be sensitive to having romantic lighting.

4. A seductive home is unpacked and set up
It’s amazing how many people still live out of boxes years after moving into their homes. One man who’s lived in his house for four years still hasn’t put up his pictures. When I told him it could make his house more romantic, he replied “What’s the point of putting pictures up if the house isn’t clean?” While I agree that it’s important to have a clean house, it’s also important to have a set up home. Unpack those boxes, and hang those pictures!

5. A seductive home has romantic potential
A seductive home makes a woman feel like she’s in a place she can relax. The pictures on the walls don’t have to be originals, but they should be framed and hung properly. There are flowers and healthy-looking plants. The furniture is clean, and if it’s old or funky, it has a throw cover on it. The carpet has been vacuumed recently and there are no piles of paper or random belongings around. The music is soft and sexy. Everything seems to have a proper place, and is in it.

A seductive home has a seductive bedroom. The bed should be made and large, at least a double bed in size. There should be plenty of pillows, pictures on the wall, and, of course, the sheetsshould be clean.

If you are going to have romantic dates in your home, coordinate your seductions with your roommates beforehand. If you want the living room for the evening, for instance, talk to housemates and see if they’ll stay out of the house till at least a certain hour. You don’t want to be interrupted by people coming in, just when you are going for that first kiss.

And speaking of interruptions, in homes with romantic potential, the volume on the answering machine is set to “zero”. More than one of my friends has been ready to make that first move when the phone has rung, the answering machines has picked up, and another woman’s voice has started blaring through the room! Turn answering machines down, and don’t answer the phone when you have a date over.

Your style in how you dress, how you keep your car, and how your home looks tells women a lot about you, and helps them decide whether to make you into a hot lover or a lowly “friend”. You must take control of these areas, and make sure that the messages you send with them are attractive, intriguing, mature and adult. Everything else you learn in this book can be undone by poor personal style. Make sure that you have it handled.

Three Ways To Make Your Car Into A Rolling Seduction Chamber

2007-02-11T10:17:00.000+08:00

By now you’ve learned what you need to know to give women the right message with how you look. You’ve learned the importance of developing your personal style, looking good, and taking care of the details. You’re looking hot and feeling good. You have a chance of getting a date, so now it’s time to start thinking about the other expressions of your personal style that women will see: your car and your home.

One of the most common lies women tell is that they don’t care about men’s cars. In a sense, we suppose, they are telling the truth: intellectually, they don’t care, and don’t think they could be swayed emotionally by such silly things. Women often like to make fun of men’s car as “extensions of their penises” (as if that’s a bad thing!). on an emotional level, however, women do respond to the kind of car you drive, and to how clean or dirty you keep it. They’ll just rarely tell you the truth about it.

This was brought home to us vividly when Esther, a female friend, started dating a new man. Esther is a powerful, can-do kind of woman. She’s very successful in her business, and is known for her hard-edged, no-nonsense attitude. She would often list her requirements in a man to her friends and was very clear that there was no way she’d have sex with a man right away. Or, anyway, that’s what she thought until she met Keith.

Esther put it this way. “We had dinner, and everything was going well. We had met at the restaurant and he was about to give me a ride home. It turns out he has a Cadillac Coupe deVille! When he set me into that plush leather seat, and closed the door with that satisfying “click”, I said to myself “I’m having sex with this man!” Which she did, that very night.

We were shocked by her revelation, but it taught us something important: the experience a woman has in your car can make or break your seduction. Most of us don’t have cars as nice as Keith’s but there are still things you can do to make your car a more seductive space for the women you date.

Like your way of dressing, your car sends a message to women. Your car can be an important part of your seduction strategy. Teenagers aren’t the only ones who have sex in cars, and many successful sexual experiences start in men’s cars, and move to the bedroom later. Here are the three ways to make your car into a rolling seduction chamber.

1. Make your car clean

It’ll be hard to create the right romantic mood in your car if it is messy. In this society, where people are increasingly living out of their cars, it’s easy to fill it with work projects, books, fast-food garbage, and things you’ve been meaning to take out, but haven’t. If you are going to give a woman a ride somewhere, it’s important that your car not seem like a dumpster with wheels. Remember, you are sending a message to women with every expression of your style that you make. Remember also that she is judging your style to see if she wants to have sex with you or not. If your car is clean and comfortable, you’ve made it past another hurdle. If it isn’t, she’ll get the message that you are a slob and not in control of your life, and be less attracted to you.

If you do need to carry a lot of stuff, get some organizer baskets to keep in your car. Dwight had to make a lot of overnight trips for his work, and had to keep files, product samples, and personal belongings in his car all the time. Not a naturally organized person, his car was always a mess of papers, trash, and dirty laundry. Though his guy friends didn’t mind the mess, women were repelled, and he wondered why he had so few second dates.

We had Dwight buy a number of plastic baskets, tubs and organizers, and simply organize what was in his car. Once everything had its proper place, the car looked neat, even though there was a lot in it. Instead of making him look like a slob, his car made him look like an organized man who was serious about doing his job well.

If a woman sees your car messy, we suggest that you don’t bother apologizing. Women are sick of guys who apologize for being slobs rather than having their lives together. Simply take the time to clear room for her, act like nothing is out of the ordinary, and hope you can see her again with a neat car.

2. Make your car romantic

If you are going to use your car as part of your seduction strategy – and you should – you should have the right equipment to make your car romantic. We suggest you have blankets and pillows in the trunk, in case a romantic walk in the woods becomes something more. You should have good romantic music on the stereo, and condoms hidden in the glove compartment.

You should not have anything in the car that will turn a woman off. Penthouse air fresheners, complete with naked centerfold pictures, should not be hanging off your rear-view mirror. Ditto for fuzzy dice. Your car shouldn’t smell either. The scent of old burritos or stale cigarette smoke is not a turn-on for most women.

You should also get rid of any signs of other women in the car, as I’ll show you how to do in a later. One of my friends ran into trouble when he was dating several women. One had folded a pretty paper swan for him, and written “Christy and Mike” on the wings. She had given it to him in his car and put it on his dashboard and kissed her so passionately that they went back to his house to have sex. Unfortunately, after he drove her home later in the evening, he forgot about the paper bird on the dashboard. The next day, when he picked up Jane for their date, she saw it immediately, read the message on it, and took great offense.

Your car should be comfortable, romantic, smell good, and not remind your date of other woman.

3. Make you car work

Doors and windows should work on your car; women don’t like to have to slide across the driver’s seat to get to the passenger’s. Also, your muffler should work. A loud car tells a woman that your life is out of control and you can’t take care of your property. If you can’t take care of your car, how will you take care of her?

We do suggest that you open the car door for any woman you are with, and close the door behind her. It’s not necessary to say anything about doing this – in fact, it’s better if you don’t – but you should do it. When you open the door for a woman, it shows her that you are going to take care of her and treat her like she is special. No matter how much she believes politically that men and women should be equal, on a romantic level she will appreciate you making this gesture.

What If You Are Fat and Out of Shape, or Ugly?

2007-02-11T01:11:00.000+08:00

Your style needs to send a message to women that says “I am mature and interesting and you want to be with me.” Accomplishing this is more about what you do with what nature gave you, than with how subjectively beautiful you are. We all have seen men who, at first look, are no “feast for the peepers” who are dating every beautiful women. They are able to do this because they make the best of what they have, and have developed their personal style into something they can be proud of.

Carey is one such man. Weighing in at well over 300 pounds, Carey seems, at first look, to be a guy who would only get sex if he was willing to pay cash for it. Nothing could be further from the truth; Carey has a constant stream of women in his life.

How does he do it? Carey has style. He never smells bad, and always looks great. Everyone who knows him agrees that his clothes look great on him, and that he “wears his weight well.” He also follow the guidelines of the rest of his chapter, and his home and car look wonderful and are extremely inviting. He also has confidence, which we well also cover later in this chapter. Carey’s style shows that he is in love with his life, is a mature man, and that he pays attention to details. Subsequently he is attractive to a variety of women.

Carey is careful to never be apologetic about his weight. “I know I’d be healthier if I was thinner, and I’m working with on it,” he says. “But I know if I start acting like there’s something wrong with me, I’ll never get another date again. I just think of myself as a big, attractive guy. The ladies seem to agree.” If you express your own true style, it doesn’t matter if you aren’t naturally beautiful to look at. You’ll send the right message to women, they will feel romantic feelings about you, and you’ll do well with them.

Details: The Key To Women’s Hearts (and Pants)

2007-02-09T15:16:00.000+08:00

One important key to seducing women which I will return to again and again throughout this book is details. Women feel romantic when the little derails are taken care of, whether those derails are perfect candlelight, clean sheets, or the small particulars of how you dress. You may have noticed how many parts of the makeover focused on the details; that’s because properly managed details make women feel romantic.

You’ve probably heard women talk about how important “the little things” are to them. While women usually don’t give useful advice about how to seduce them, in this case they are telling the truth. A man who can manage the details will always get women in bed. In upcoming chapters I’ll show you how to manage the details in every aspect of a seduction. Here’s how you can make the details of your appearance work for you.

The “little things” in how you dress tell a woman a lot about you, and have a big effect on how she treats you. Evan has the “sloppy attractive” look mastered. He seems to wear torn, ratty cloths, but they look mysteriously good on him. He’s constantly surrounded by attractive women. What is his secret?

Evan understands the importance of details. He knows that it’s not important that his clothes not be torn; what’s important is that the details of his “look” all work together to make him look good. Torn clothes are part of his style what makes him different from other, unattractive men who wear torn up clothes is how he manages the details of his appearance.

First, even though his clothing may be torn, he still follows the four Rules of Clothing closely. His clothes are clean and orderly; I’ve seen him iron ripped blue jeans, and throw away clothes whose rips don’t look “right” to him

Second, his details are all wonderful. His style has a Native American air about it, even though he’s not Native American himself. His belt is from a Pacific Indian clothing store, and his watch, rings, earrings and necklaces also reflect the same style. This attention to detail makes him look like he’s thought about his look, which he has, and sends an attractive message to women no matter what else he is wearing. He never carries much in his pockets, and his glasses fit his face perfectly. He looks like he’s just thrown on whatever is around, looks great. The reason he looks great is that he’s thought about and managed the details of his appearance. Women notice, and find him fascinating.

You can use the details of your appearance to stand out from other men. Extra-nice or interestingly coordinated shoes, belts, wallets, backpacks, brief cases, watches or hats are all ways to show women that you pay attention to details and care about looking nice.

Slightly unusual details in your dress can even get women to begin conversation with you. One man we know wears a striking copper bracelet he got in India. Women often ask him about it, and he gets to tell hem about the time he spent traveling there. Another man wears an artistic pin on the lapel of his suit, which women comment on. Another man has a cow boy hat that fits his style perfectly, which women often comment on.

Tattoos, if you have them, are another kind of detail of style that can start conversations with women. One man we know has several beautiful tattoos and uses them to start conversations with women who have tattoos and piercings. “I like your tattoos. Where did you get it done?” will often lead to interesting conversations and eventually dates with women he’s attracted to.

Details to Avoid
Once upon a time, tobacco was cool. You could light up a cigarette, hold it casually, breathe smoke and look suave and intellectual.

Those days are past. Cigarettes are no longer attractive to women and, in our current cultural climate, are actually repellent to many beautiful, health-conscious females. Even many coffee shops, the last hold-outs for roll-your-own sophisticated smokers, have gone smoke-free. While it is true that many young women smoke because they think it will keep them thin, you won’t be any less attractive to them if you don’t smoke/ and you will be less attractive to non-smoking women, who outnumber the smokers, to be attractive to women, you must go smoke-free, too.

Even though cigars have come into vogue in recent years, most women still think they smell like burning commodes, and find men who light them up very offensive. If you smoke cigars, do it around other guys. Don’t do it around women you are trying to seduce.

The 13-Point Body Makeover For Being Attractive To Women

2007-02-08T16:34:00.000+08:00

1. Hair
Hair has to be taken care of to look good: the movie stars who seem to have rumpled, disorderly hair actually spend a fortune in time and money to get it to look “just so”. While short hair doesn’t always look better than long, many men who have long hair used to look good with it, but, now that they are getting older, don’t anymore.

My friend, Jim, discovered that, for his hair to look best, he needed to blow-dry it with styling gel after washing it, which he began doing on a near-daily basis. He began using conditioner to make it fuller and softer. He noticed an immediate change in his life; women seemed more interested in him. He decided that, in view of the new found feminine attention, having to use a blow-dryer was not such a big problem.

It’s important that your hair look good. It should not be greasy, out-of-control. And you should not have dandruff. Go to a real hair stylist, and get a look that is good for you. Men who are balding have several options. Even if you are balding, your hair can still look good and be styled well. Just watch out for the trap balding men fall into of combing just a few hairs across the bald top of their heads. It doesn’t work and women, especially, find it unattractive. Just remember Star Trek’s bald Captain Picard, and let your bald head shine.

I’ve also known balding men who have created a powerful, attractive look by keeping their heads shaven. Admittedly, it takes some gets to do this, but if you have an attractive skull, it can really look good.

2. Eyebrows/Ear Hair/ Nose Hair
Most men don’t have a problem with their eyebrows, but it makes sense to check yours and be sure. Some men’s eyebrows grow very long and need to be trimmed. Several of our students have gray hairs in their eyebrows that grow, if unhindered, to an inch long or longer. These men must pluck or trim these hairs on a regular basis.

Ear hair and nose hair must be trimmed regularly. You might not notice if this hair grows long, and your male friends might not notice, but woman you find attractive will. You can use little scissors or special trimmers to trim these hairs at least once every two weeks. Hair should not protrude from the nose or ears. Stray hairs growing on your ears should also be trimmed.

3. Glasses
Like many men, Jim wore glasses. His looked old, scratched, and he seemed to need to squint to see through them. He went to his optometrist to get his prescription updated, then accompanied him to find the right pair of frames.

If you wear glasses, choosing the right frames is very important. The bad news is, really stylish frames can cost two or three hundred dollars. The good news is that having to wear glasses is a great opportunity to choose frames that will enhance your attractiveness noticeable. It’s worth shopping around for the frames that look the best on your face. Go to high-end stores as well as the cheaper ones. Every woman who sees you will see your glasses, so it’s worth getting ones that really look great.

4. Snorting and Phlegm
You are attractive and dressed well, but always seemed to need to clear your throat, and spit. You became so used to this that you hardly even knew you did it anymore, but every time you’d take a big snorting inhale, women noticed, and didn’t want to be around with you.

Women find snorting and spitting of phlegm very revolting. I know you find it disgusting too, but take it from me, what you feel is nothing compared to how women feel about it. If you find that you have problems with phlegm, you must find out why, and solve them. Many people who have excess phlegm have allergies to dairy foods, and find it clears up if they avoid milk products or take enzymes to help them digest lactose. If you have these problems, seek professional help and get the phlegm cleared up, or the message you’ll send to women is “I’m disgusting. Stay away from me.”

5. Facial Hair
Jim had a beard, and, at first, I suggested that he try shaving it off. Unless a beard is well-kept and trimmed regularly, it won’t be attractive on most men. I thought Jim’s beard made him look like a slob, so I suggested he shave it off.

While many men look better without bears, Jim wasn’t one of them. “My God,” he said after he shaved it off. “I look like those newspaper pictures of Dave Barry!” I agreed that it wasn’t the right look for him, and he grew in a short, well-trimmed beard that went with his hair, and looked great on him.

The biggest problem men have with beards is that they let them get too wild. Pick a style, and keep the beard neat. The biggest problem women tell me that they have with men’s bears is that the bears tend to get scratchy. If you do have a beard, be sure to use conditioner on it to keep it soft.

6. Lips
And speaking of soft, if you plan to be kissing women, you need to keep your lips soft. If they are rough women will notice, and not want to kiss you. We know it seems petty, but it’s true. Remember, when you are first dating a woman, she has you on probation. Sure, you’re exciting, but dating you also puts her at risk of emotional entanglements and getting hurt. While you are thinking of how great it’s going to be to have sex with her, she’s looking for a reason to send you back into the slammer with all those other guys, so she can get back to her nice, orderly life. For this reason you must have your details in order. And for this reason, your lips must be soft. Use lip balm.

7. Teeth
I also asked Jim to the dentist to get his teeth cleaned, and if you haven’t had yours cleaned in the last six months, you should make an appointment, too. Jim didn’t want to go, so I had him create a reward that would motivate him. He decided that as a reward for getting his teeth cleaned, he’d take himself out to the local strip club and have a good time. With the prospect of naked women dangling before him, he was able to get in and have more than five years of crud scraped off his teeth. They looked whiter, and felt smoother and cleaner to him. After all, if you expect a woman to stick her tongue in there, you want your mouth to be as clean as possible.

8. Skin
Smooth soft skin is important to women, especially on your face. If you tend to five o’clock shadow, be sure to shave again before going out on a date. If you have rough hands, start using moisturizer to soften them up. Most women aren’t interested in men who have rough, sandpaper-like hands.

9. Smells
It’s hard to underestimate the negative consequences of smelling bad to a woman. A surprising number of the women that interviewed said that they had been on dates where they would have had sex with the man, if only he hadn’t smelled bad. It is important that you bathe regularly, own deodorant, and use it. Remember, if you think you might smell bad to women, then you do.

You should also know that, as one women from the interviewed said, “nothing is more of a turn-off than the smell of feces.” If you tend to have gas, then you must do something about it. Products like Beano can help you pass less gas. You may even need to see a doctor if you have a serious gas problem.

This is no small concern. Studies show that women have a more developed sense of smell than men do. Smells that don’t seem too bad to men can be quite repellent to women. If you want to have sex with attractive women, then you must manage your smells. Men who refuse to handle this problem send the message to women that they are more interested in passing gas than they are in having sex with women. Women conclude that such men are immature, and they are right.

It’s also critical that you have good breath. Again and again, the women that interviewed told that men who have bad breath turn them off. Reena from the interviewed group is a typical of these women, when she says “Sure, I can think of a number of guys I was ready to have sex with, but then noticed they had bad breath. I figured I didn’t want them after all.” You must brush your teeth regularly, and if you think your breath might be bad, it is. Carry mints with you, but don’t take them in front of her. For some reason, women seem to think that men who take steps to have good breath are vain, even while they say that men who smell bad are slobs. Excuse yourself to the bathroom and take the breath mint there.

If you use aftershave lotion, be sure to not use too much. As the saying goes, a dab’ll do. Women aren’t attracted to guys who wear so much lotion that smell rays seem almost to be radiating from their bodies. The man you’d have to be to get the kind of woman you want probably doesn’t smell too bad, or too good.

10. Pockets
Just as you can have a wonderful, expensive desk, and overload the drawers to the point where they can’t be closed, you can have wonderful, stylish clothes, and overload the pockets to the point where your nice slick clothes make you look like an old lumpy mattress.

While women carry purses that they overfill, men overfill their pockets. If you want to be attractive to women, you must carry as little as possible in your pockets, so you don’t look lumpy and your clothes don’t get stretched.

11. Belt
Your belt is one of the small particulars of your dress that you must have under control if you want women to be attracted to you. If you are wearing a cheap cardboard belt, or if your belt is falling apart, you won’t be sending an attractive message to women. Likewise, if you are using the biggest or the smallest hole in your belt, you might look silly, and should consider getting a belt that fits you better. If you are at all overweight, it’s better to not have too fancy a belt-buckle, as it will draw attention to your waist, which is not where you want women to look. Get a simpler belt-buckle until you’ve slimmed down.

12. Socks and Shoes
if you’ll look closely at your socks, you’ll find that there is an inside and an outside, and that it’s possible to wear them inside out. Though few men would ever notice this, women tell us that they do. Wear your socks the right side out.

Women also evaluate men by the quality of their shoes. It’s hard for most men to comprehend the amount of time women spend thinking about shoes. They have conversations with each other about shoes; they spend discreet blocks of time shoe shopping; they sit around thinking about what shoes to wear with what outfits. The more attractive a women you are interested in is, the more time she probably spends thinking about shoes.

With this in mind, you shouldn’t be too surprised to find out that she also judges and think about your shoes. So you should be ready. The sad fact is, you probably need more and better shoes. Jim had his dirty sneakers, his messed-up dress shoes, and a very uncomfortable pair of dress shoes that he wore the two times a year he put on his only suit. Through his work with us, he realized that, to be the kind of man who attracted the kind of women he wanted, he’d need some new shoes. He visited a number of stylish shoe boutiques and got several pair of sexy new shoes.

He also brought shoe trees, which are brilliant wood or plastic devices that you put in your shoes when you take them off to help them keep their shape and last years longer. He also committed himself to having his shoes shined regularly, and to replacing the shoelaces before they become too frayed. He realized that, just as he didn’t want to wear wrinkled clothes, he wouldn’t be attractive to women wearing wrinkled shoes.

13. Posture
Jim had what I call “adolescent posture.” He slumped like a teenager, and shuffled when he walked. His shoulders were rounded, and his head was forward. He looked unobtrusive and timid, but realized that he needed to look powerful and decisive to get the women he desired.

There are a lot of kinds of bodywork you can get if you, like Jim, suffer from poor posture. You may want to explore chiropractic, which is often at least partially covered by insurance, to improve your posture. Other men get regular massage, or go through a process called “Rolfing” or Neuro-Muscular Therapy to improve posture. Jim started getting chiropractic care and regular massage treatment. He soon was standing straighter and taller, his shoulders seemed broader and less tense, and he walked straighter and more upright. As a plus, his lower back pain cleared up. “I feel more solid now,” he told us, “and more able to meet attractive women on their own ground.” Better posture made him more into the kind of man who would be attractive to the kind of women he desired.

The Four Rules of Clothing

2007-02-07T18:27:00.000+08:00

Most men are “clothes blind”. They don’t see dirt in the same way women do, and they don’t think about style as much. Here are the basic rules about clothes that men need to learn.

First and foremost, clothes must fit well! It doesn’t matter how great a shirt is if it looks ill-fitting. It doesn’t matter how much a pair of pants has been marked down if it pulls into pronounced “starfish” shape where the legs meet the crotch. Simple clothing that fits well is far better than fancier clothing that just “doesn’t look right”.

If you are interested in pursuing a casual ragged, torn-up clothing look, proper fitting is the difference between looking sexy and looking like a slob. Next time you see a man or a woman who looks great in the torn-up style, notice how well the clothes fit them. You’ll notice they fit perfectly, which is why the style works.

Some clothing stores are better for the average man than are others. If you are a bit overweight, some of the more hip and upscale stores may not have clothes that fit you well. Very often one store will have an entire line of pants, for instance, that don’t fit you well. It’s just the way their clothes are cut. Another store, on the other hand, might have a wide variety of pants that fit you. It’s a good idea to keep shopping around until you find a store where the clothes fit, they look good, and the salespeople help you expand your style.

How do you know when clothes don’t fit well? Often, the salespeople will tell you, though you can’t count on that. The men you are shopping with can also tell you. The bottom line is simply this: if you don’t feel that the clothes fit, they don’t. Don’t waste your money, and move on to the next piece.

The second rule of clothing is that clothes must be clean! Because most men are “clothes blind”, and can’t seem to tell when clothes need laundering, let’s briefly go over how you know when it’s time to wash something.

- If it’s underwear, and you’ve worn it more than once, wash it.
- For shirts and pants, you can be more discriminating. To tell if shirts and pants are dirty, look at them under bright light. Are there any spots of stains? If there are, rub the spot with stain remover, and wash. Pants also need laundering when they start to get baggy and wrinkled. Blue jeans are especially susceptible to stretching and getting baggy. When this happens, it’s time to wash them.

The third rule of clothing is that clothes shouldn’t be wrinkled! Yes, you might have to iron your shirts and pants, or have them ironed. Think about it: you are more attracted to women who are wearing clothes that aren’t wrinkled and sloppy. Women are no different. Of course, not all clothes need ironing, but if you want to send a message to attractive women that you are the kind of man they want, ironing may be required. Having your shirts and pants laundered professionally is also a possibility for men who can afford it and don’t want to iron.

The fourth rule of clothing is that you must keep clothing in good repair! Look under “Seamstress” in the local Yellow Pages, and get buttons sewed back on, holes patched and rips mended right away.

Wearing clean, well-fitting, ironed clothes that are in good repair has multiple benefits. Not only do you look good, you also feel good. Your style of dressing will naturally send out the message to women that you are attractive, together, and of interest to her.

The Three Helpers That Make You Look Better

2007-02-07T12:19:00.000+08:00

If you are like most men you aren’t going to be able to transform your style of dressing without help. We will go over the basics in this chapter, but to really create a transformation in how you look, you’ll also need help from other people.

1. Stylish Men
We suggest you look around for the resources you already have to help you develop your style. Who do you know who has a great sense of style? Approach stylish men you know, and ask them for advice. Ask them where they shop for clothes, and where they get their hair cut, then go to those places and ask the sales clerks to help you with a “new look”. They’ll often suggest clothing you wouldn’t normally get for yourself, but that your style could “grow into”.

2. Women
Another intelligent way to shop is to find a stylish woman who you are not interested in sexually, and ask her to go shopping with you. One of my friend had a tremendous experience the first time he did this. He went to Cindy (fake name), the woman mentioned above, and asked her to go shopping with him. He know she had an extraordinary sense of style, but also wasn’t interested in her sexually, so it wouldn’t matter if they became friends. She had only one requirement: he must promise to buy everything she told him to until the three hundred dollars he’d set aside for clothing was gone. It turned out she gave him great advice, and some of the hardest purchases to make, such as spending fifty dollars on a tie, turned out to be some of the best. For moths he got compliments from women on how great he looked, all because he was willing to commit himself to looking good. “it was hard at first,” he said later. “A lot of the clothes she told me to buy, I didn’t really want. But it turned out to be great, and did a lot to help me create my personal style.”

3. Male Friends
It’s good to go clothes shopping with other men who are also developing their personal style. The right men friends can encourage you to take fashion risks.

In time you will develop relationships with stores you like, where you know you can trust the clerks to suggest new style ideas that will both express your true self and make you even more attractive to women. One of our students who often wears a cowboy hat that looks great on him got the hat that way. “I’d never considered a hat like that before,” he said. “But when the clerk brought it over and set it on my head, it looked great. I knew right away it was right for me, and I never would have found it by myself.” As you buy more clothes, you will discover what you really like, and what kinds of clothes really make the kind of statement you want to make to women.

How To Succeed With Women: What You Say With How You Dress

2007-02-06T18:26:00.000+08:00

A wise person once said, “I’ve never met a person who wasn’t carefully costumed”. I agree. No matter how you are dressed right now, on some level you have chosen your outfit because it makes a statement you want to make.

When women look at how you dress, it makes a statement to them. One of my friend, Ray (fake name to protect identity), was an older man who had been having trouble getting dates for many years. He wore garish, brightly colored clothes that clashed with each other, and from a stylistic perspective, looked terrible. His ex-wife told him he “made a mockery of style”. On top of this, he rarely bothered to bathe or shave, so he often smelled bad. On a subconscious level, by wearing clothes women wouldn’t like, Ray was constantly saying “Go to Hell”! to women. He was saying this to his mother, to women in his life now, and to every woman he’d ever felt controlled by. He would complain about how women didn’t like how he dressed, and wouldn’t date him, but as we got to know him, we saw that it was more important to him to insult women’s sensibilities than it was for him to get sex. Because of his style, his mere presence offended women. And he wondered why he couldn’t get women into bed!

Other men make more constructive statements to women through the way they dress. Think about some men you know, or have seen, whose style of dress is attractive to women. You might think of John Travolta, playing the character Chili Palmer in the film Get Shorty. He always looked good, wore clothes that fit, and had a style that fit him. His style said “I’m an attractive man who know what he’s about. I’m not stuck in making some immature statement. You want me in your life.” This is what you want to say, too.

What does your way of dressing say to women? Does it say that you are mature, attractive, in love with our life, confident, and of interest to her? Or does your way of dressing send out a more immature message?

How To Succeed With Women: The Commitment Of Style

2007-02-05T11:59:00.001+08:00

Would you go to a job interview in your workout gear? Would you show up at your job wearing torn, dirty, or even smelly clothes? Would you wear a suit and tie to play in your local softball league? Or wear swim trunks on a business trip? Of course NOT !

The simple fact is that different activities have different uniforms. If you want to be successful at a job interview, you invest the time and money in getting the right outfit for it. If you want to look professional at your job, you invest the time and money in getting the right clothes for it. And if you are playing softball on the local team, you don’t wear a suit and tie; you wear the clothes that are proper for the activity.

Your life pursuit is now “getting women”. If you are serious about this, you will invest time and money in getting the right clothes for the job. Because every day, every interaction you have with women will be a “job interview” of sorts, you need to wear clothes that are attractive for the job.

What, exactly, those clothes will be will vary from man to man. A man who is mechanic, for instance, will express his style through clothes that are different from those of an executive. But both men, if they wish to be successful. Will make the commitment to thinking about how they look to women every single day.

Our level of success with women skyrocketed when we first understood the importance of proper dress when meeting them. We each developed “dating uniforms” which we knew would make us into the kind of men we’d have to be to get the kind of women we desired into bed. We became willing to spend the time and money on getting the right clothes and keeping them clean, pressed, and mended. This simple commitment has made all the difference in our level of success with women.

How To Succeed With Women: Defining Your Style

2007-02-04T10:48:00.000+08:00

As I said before, women are attracted to men who make them feel the romantic feelings they so desire. Don’t be fooled by the simplicity of this statement; teaching you how to make women feel romantically inclined is the fundamental goal of this blog and should be your primary goal as well in all your interaction with them. Everything you can do toward this end, you must do.

Your style – how you dress and your level of confidence – is the first thing a woman sees about you. You must make it work for long-term outcome. You must make your style automatically generate romantic feelings in the women you encounter.

Your personal style is your unique expression. It’s your first “advertisement” to the world about who you are and what you are about. Through your style, you tell people what is important to you. Your style is a reflection of your passion.

How To Succeed With Women: Confidence !

2007-02-04T00:19:00.001+08:00

What kind of woman do you want? What’s most important to you in a woman? Is it that she be tall, or short? That she have wonderful breasts? That she be blonde, or brunette? That she be smart or rich? What exactly do you want?

These may seem like confrontational questions. For men who are living in a sexual desert, the answer may well be “any woman at all”! Strange as it may seem, you’ll have better chances of getting a woman if you are looking for one with specific qualities than you will if you are looking for any woman at all. So we ask again, what kind of woman do you want?

There’s an old saying, “If you don’t have any destination in mind, any road will take you there.” You really have to decide what you want in a woman to make use of the information in this chapter to find out what you need to do – what roads to take – to get her.

Once you have an idea of what you want, here’s the next step: think about the kind of woman you desire. Think about her style, her grace, her beauty. Now ask yourself: “if I were to have a woman like this, what kind of a man would I have to be?”

This question is crucial because it will guide you in your quest. What kind of a man would you have to be to have the kind of women you desire? The first mistake men make in answering this question is that they think they would have to be more than they could ever possibly be. They doom themselves, with answers like “to have the women I really desire, I’d have to be a millionaire,” or “to have the women I really desire, I’d have to be a professional basketball player.” Or, they come up with criteria that doom them from a physical standpoint: “to have the woman I desire, I’d have to be taller,” or “to have the woman I desire, I’d have to be more handsome,” or “to have the women I desire, I’d have to be younger,” or “to have the woman I desire, I’d have to not have [whatever you think is wrong with you.]”

That’s all nonsense. You don’t have to be fundamentally different from what you are to get the women you desire. You don’t have to be richer, or taller, or better looking. Look: the truth about women is very simple. You can have the woman you desire if you can make her feel the romantic feelings she most wants to feel. When we ask “what would you have to be like to have the women you desire,” we are simply asking you to think about the parts of yourself you’ll have to accentuate if you are to make the women you desire feel romantically about you.

The second mistake men make in answering this question is that they decide that they have to become somebody they are not, fake men, supermen. They imagine they’ll have to become basically different from what they honestly are. They think they’ll have to become James Bond, or some sort of a “tough guy” action hero who they really aren’t. they think that to get women, they’ll have to betray themselves. They are afraid of trying to be who they aren’t, and for good reason. Most men who approach women trying to be completely different from who they basically are come across like Saturday Night Live’s “Wild and Crazy Guys,” trying to look hip for the “foxes”, but really just liking like fools. As you’ll see in this chapter, you’ll need to stretch yourself, but not betray yourself.

Most men discover that while they don’t need to be different from who they really are, they do need to develop who they are more thoroughly. They find that they need to develop their Personal Style which has two parts: style, that is, how you dress, and confidence how you behave. While you don’t have to change who you are as a person, you will probably find you have to change how you express who you are – your personal style – if you want to get the woman of your dreams.

A Highly Successful Seducer makes it look like he’s not working on the romance.

2007-02-03T13:27:00.000+08:00

What is the one difference between seducing a woman and having a job? At work you need to look as if you are working – in fact, the harder you look as if you are working, the better it is. The Highly Effective Seducer knows that when seducing a woman, the opposite is true: when you are with a woman, you absolutely must make everything look easy, even if you worked hard to set up the perfect romantic evening, or even if you hunted for hours to find the perfect little romantic gift.

One of my friend, for example, spent two weeks searching for a T-shirt for Rachael, the woman he was pursuing. He knew she would love the shirt and it would lead to a “reward” of some sort. When he gave it to her at an unexpected moment she threw her arms around him and gave him a huge passionate kiss. The response was better than he would have imagined. Had he told her that he only bought it just to charm her, to make her romantic, and that he methodically looked for it for weeks, she wouldn’t have been so happy.

A common bonehead mistake an ineffective seducer makes is that he expects a woman to acknowledge and thank him for all the work he’s done in seducing her. This is suicide. A woman will rarely, if ever, acknowledge that you have pursued her, called her, created good feelings for her, risked rejection in asking her out, risked rejection in touching her for the first time, kissing her, and every other initiation that you’ve made. After all, the seduction is happening effortlessly for her, isn’t it? It must be effortless! You will be happier to not even expect a woman to understand what you have gone through to make the romance seem effortless. She won’t appreciate it anyway. It is best to boast to your friends about your seduction schemes, rather than to you date.

Bringing up the fact that you are putting in effort that she isn’t appreciating will offend her. Look at it this way: she expects romance to happen, and the last thing she wants is a guy plotting how to get her. If you tell her about the work you are doing to seduce her, you break the magic spell, and she will accuse you of treating her like an object, not really caring about her as a person, manipulating her to get sex, and she will be angrier than you can possibly imagine.

Do what the Effective Seducers do. Make it look like you’re not working, and the women you desire will be yours.

A Highly Successful Seducer is always willing to walk away from the seduction of from the woman

2007-02-02T18:43:00.000+08:00

Have you ever seen a man totally at the beck and call of a woman, and miserable about it? Have you ever been that guy who is so dependent on a woman that you’re forgotten what you are about and what your boundaries are? Have you ever felt “taken” by a woman ?

Once the relationship starts, many men tend to give a woman everything she wants and sacrifice their self-respect in hopes of getting a steady supply of sex. Men often stay in unsatisfying relationships because they don’t see any way out. Or they think no other woman will put up with or love them. As a result, they stay in relationships, sometimes for years, miserable and knowing that they should break it off, but somehow never mustering the courage to do so.

Highly Effective Seducers are willing to cut off relationships with women if they don’t work for them. If you are not willing to leave the relationship, you no longer have any power or say in what happens. If you aren’t willing to walk away she will assume that she can walk all over you. A woman, like anyone else, will try to take as much as she can from you if you don’t show her the bottom line.

The same principle can be applied in business situations. A man who isn’t willing to quit when things become intolerable is at the whim of everyone’s opinions and desires. He probably doesn’t advance at his job or ask for what he wants because he is so busy being subservient to others that he ignores going for what he wants. The willingness to walk gives a man confidence in himself in any situation, especially with women.

Being willing to walk integrates a hard bottom line attitude while not being cruel. It is not a personal attack on her. In fact you are really saying, “I want X”. You can either produce that or I’ll replace you. A Successful Seducer know what he wants and cuts to the chase, saving himself and the woman time and energy. A man who is willing to walk away, even from sex, is respected and cannot be taken off the course he has set for his life.

A Highly Successful Seducer is never a prospect’s therapist or friend

2007-02-02T00:14:00.000+08:00

Pop Quiz : The best way to get a woman to desire you sexually is to help solve her problems, listen to her difficulties, and to prove yourself to be an excellent friend. TRUE of FALSE ??

Every Highly Effective Seducer knew that this statement is FALSE. Being a woman’s therapist, confidant, or pal is one of the worst ways of getting a woman in bed. In fact, if you are a woman’s therapist, confidant or pal, you almost certainly destroy your chances with her sexually. While you may want to have women as pals on your own time, if the woman is a prospective sex partner, this could be the death blow.

The Therapist ploy. The man who tries to get relationship by being a women’s therapist thinks that if he solves her emotional problems then she’ll naturally want to have sex with him. He bases this faulty reasoning on the fact that if an attractive woman solved his problems, he’d want to have sex with her. Given the fact that he’d probably want to have sex with an attractive woman even if she added to his problems, his logic doesn’t make sense.

When a man discusses a woman’s problems with her, she associates him with her problems. Even if he manages to come up with solutions, he’s still the last person who saw her with them. Either way, she’ll want to get away from him. Effective seducers know that women are attracted to men who take them into a different, romantic world, in which they seem to have no problems, and feel wonderful. If a prospective lover shares her problems with an Effective Seducer he may listen, but he will never offer solutions. He’ll distract her from her problems by being charming and exciting, and get her feeling the way he wants her to feel, and continue the seduction.

The “Friend” ploy. The man who tries to get into a woman’s pants by being her friend fails with women just as much as the man who tries to be her therapist. Woman often decide if a man will be a lover or a friend in the first two minutes after meeting him. Once you are in the “friend” category, it’s very difficult to get out. Effective Seducers understand that if a woman is prospective lover, a man must avoid being her friend, and let her know about his romantic interest right away.

Women can be great friends if you have no sexual interest in them. If you are interested in a woman as a lover, take a cue from the Highly Effective Seducers: Don’t be her friend or her therapist !

A Highly Successful Seducer always makes life work for him

2007-02-01T15:51:00.000+08:00

You met her last week. Attractive, fit, blonde, and in her mid-20s. You had fun talking together, she readily gave you her phone number and agreed to meet for coffee. You arrive ten minutes early and are all ready for her to show up. You are waiting at the time she said she’d be there, waiting ten minutes past that time, and still waiting 30 minutes later. She still hasn’t show up. The question is, did you make it work for you, or didn’t you??

A man who makes life work for him has no difficulty in this situation. He’s brought some work to do, or some reading that is important for him to complete. He set up the date at a place and time convenient for him, so that if she didn’t show up it wouldn’t wreck his day. He works and flirts with the other women at the coffee shop and ends up having a good time anyway. After waiting 30 minutes, he left. When he calls the woman who didn’t show up, he’s not filled with unproductive resentment that she didn’t keep her word. He makes life work for him, and has a good time anyway.

A man who doesn’t make life work for him is so astounded that she said “yes” in the first place, that he bends over backwards to meet her for the coffee date. He may have canceled something important, rearranged his schedule, and come to an inconvenient place to meet her. He’ll have arrived ready to socialize and have no backup plan in place for when she doesn’t arrive. Even if she does arrive, 40 minutes late, he’s so angry and upset and humiliated that he can’t have a good time with her. He’s made himself a victim by not making like work for him.

This is a huge mistake that many of my friends make. They expect others, or their circumstances, to make like work for them. The man who is victimized by his date not showing up was expecting her to make the date work for him. As a result, he was a victim, just as you will be if you leave making your life work for you in the hands of other people.

If you are going to be a man who has a life that works, you must do this, too. Here are some of the questions a Highly Effective Seducer constantly asks himself:

- how can I make this experience work for me?

- what quality of experience am I committed to having, no matter what happens?

- What can I do, right now, to create that experience for myself?

- What’s most important to me in this situation?

- How can I get that?

- What would make this situation most fun?

By asking yourself these questions, and committing to making life work for you rather than counting on women to do it for you, you will become the kind of man women are most attracted to.

A Highly Successful Seducer always acts with an outcome in mind

2007-02-01T11:11:00.000+08:00

If you were cold-calling for your business, would you call up a potential customer and not have any idea of what you were going to say? If you wanted a raise, would you go into your boss’s office and have hours of meandering, meaningless conversation in the hopes that a raise would “just happen”? Would you take a potential client to seemingly random events and social occasions, hoping that for some reason he would decide to make a purchase?

Of course you wouldn’t. You’d always act with an outcome in mind. If socializing or conversing were part of getting to your outcome, of course you would socialize and talk. But you’d always have in the back of your mind the outcome you wanted to produce. You’d do the things that brought you closer to that outcome, and not do the things that had no impact or that might even take you away from your goal.

That’s what Highly Effective Seducer do. Successful seductions are built on planning, and having outcomes in mind for every step of the way. Where there is no planning, there is room for problems and breakdowns.

Having an outcome before the date means that , when a man is talking to a woman for the first time, he is focused on giving her romantic feelings or getting her phone number. On the date, the outcome may be to have relationship. After the date, the outcome may be to see her again, to keep her feeling special and interested, or to move on. You must always be asking yourself “what is my goal”? and “how do I want her to be feeling”? If you want her to feel safe, you must appear safe and not be too outrageous or scary. If you want her to feel romantic, you must ask her romantic questions and do romantic things. If you don’t want her to feel disgusted, you must not burp, make crude jokes or do other disgusting things.

Men who don’t have an outcome in mind are at the whim of circumstance and are bound to fail and most men fall into this category. They go with the flow and want to “just see where things go.” As a man following the Habits of Highly Effective Seducers, you know your outcome, and pursue it.

A Highly Successful Seducer is always prospecting

2007-01-31T19:03:00.000+08:00

A Highly Effective Seducer turns every situation with women into a prospecting situation. If you want an abundant sex life, you must learn to do this as well. One of Bob’s fatal flaws is that he has tunnel-vision in his pursuit. Though he is consistently unsuccessful, he thinks he “knows” that there are very few places he can meet women. He is wrong. The fact is, women are everywhere. There is no shortage of places to meet them. Some of the best places are ones you are in every day that you don’t even yet realize. Because Bob doesn’t realize this, he only flirts with women when he feels like it, not as practice. He doesn’t turn every situation into a prospecting situation.

The Effective Seducer is also like a hunter. A good hunter is constantly outside of his comfort zone. This means that he doesn’t hunt only in places that are easiest to get to. He goes to areas where he thinks the deer are, whether or not those places are always convenient. He makes it a higher priority to get his prey than to be in a comfortable situation. He gets up before dawn, hikes in the dark, sits in the cold, and waits patiently for a deer that may or may not come, because he knows that if he is consistent, he will eventually be successful. This is a model for us all.

Look at every situation you are in as a potential for meeting women. You can even look at every interaction with a woman, be it at a restaurant, in an elevator, while pumping gas, or at the doctor, as an opportunity to initiate the steps to getting a date and practicing your skills as a seducer.

A Highly Successful Seducer initiates everything with women

2007-01-30T13:13:00.000+08:00

Men frequently fail to initiate with women. They either forget that it is essential, or they resent doing it. Perhaps they’ve been frequently rejected a lot by women. Perhaps they think they are so special that women will approach them and ask them out. Whatever the reason, here is what Highly Effective Seducers know: the man must always make it his responsibility to initiate every step of a romantic encounter. Effective Seducers never forget it! If you slack off, another man will be having sex with the woman of your dreams while you are home alone masturbating.

Men commonly think women give signals of interest the same way they would. This is a big mistake. Most men don’t realize that women do not do things the way men do. You must understand the crucial differences in how men and women respond to initiation.

For instance, if one of your buddies doesn’t call you back when you’ve initiated getting together, it is fair to assume he doesn’t want to accept your invitation. This is not the case with women. Women are trained to play hard to get, and are programmed to give mixed messages. It isn’t personal. In fact, you will be a much happier man if you just keep initiating; don’t take anything a woman does personally.

A case in point: a hot woman will never ask you out and will rarely call you back. If you really want her, you have to prove your worth. You will have to prove you are persistent and patient, and that there is something that sets you apart from the others. When a friend of ours met a beautiful 20-year-old woman at a bar, he initiated and got her phone number. He called her several times and she didn’t call back. He kept initiating phone calls and finally talked to her. They set a date for coffee and she didn’t show. He initiated another call and set up a date with her. On the next date he slept with her. His success was built on his persistence and willingness to initiate. What he didn’t do was take it personally, resent the woman, whine to her, or give up.

Just in case you are totally brain dead, here is a list of initiations you must make: the first eye contact, the first smile, talking to her for the first time, keeping the conversation going, asking for her phone number, calling her up, calling her again when she doesn’t call you back, asking her out, asking her out again when she “forgets” to shop up, all eye contact and touching on the date, the first kiss, every single sexual initiation, and any subsequent dates. In a short-term erotic relationship you will also have to initiate the breakup.

A Highly Successful Seducer always pursues more than one woman

2007-01-29T15:44:00.000+08:00

In interviewing and modeling the behavior of Effective Seducers, I learned a terrible truth: if you are trying to become an expert seducer, pursuing only one woman is worse for your sex life than pursuing none at all.

Why is this so? Because when you are pursuing only one woman, you have no backup plan. You have all your eggs in one basket. You can’t be playful and pursue her unconcerned with outcomes, because if she’s your only prospect, she’s your only chance for sex. You’ll get overly concerned that if things don’t work out you won’t have anyone else to pursue. It most likely will make you dependent on her in some way. You will likely push her away from this dependency attitude. Further, if after a few dates she doesn’t like you, then you will feel that there is something wrong with you. Your inability to relax with her will drive her away and leave you feeling bad about yourself.

Many of my friends have fallen into this trap. You can follow all the other habits of the Highly Effective Seducer, but if you pursue only one woman, you will never experience an abundant sex life.

Women are attracted to men who are relaxed, creative and exciting. Pursuing more than one woman brings out both of these qualities because it keeps you engaged with life in a creative exciting way. When you know the woman you are after is one of many, her response matters less than it would if she were your only hope for sex. You can be more relaxed, because you aren’t risking offending your only possible sexual partner. If you do lose her for some reason, you can just move on to the next woman.

A Highly Successful Seducer sees dating as a numbers game

2007-01-28T23:07:00.000+08:00

Highly Effective Seducers constantly remember that dating like so many areas of life, is a numbers game. Crass as it may seem, dating women is like selling a product. Instead of selling a vacuum cleaner or some other product, however, you are selling you. Salesmen know that they rarely make a sale on the first call they make. They know that if they do it was luck, and they can’t count on it again.

An Effective Seducer expects that one in ten of the women he flirts with he’ll go out with, and that one in four of the women he goes out with he’ll have relationship with. He’s accepted these facts of life. He thinks it’s like baseball: those who hit the most home runs also have the most strikeouts. He understands that it’s not personal when women say “no” to him, don’t show up, or reject his advances. It’s all part of the game he’s playing which he knows will eventually get him in bed with women he desires. All he has to do is keep initiating, flirting, asking women out, and following the principles in this blog, and sooner or later he will be having relationship. So he keeps initiating with that end in mind.

Ineffective seducers don’t see seduction as numbers game. They take the rejections and difficulties personally. Instead of knowing that they are working their way through inevitable rejection to inevitable success, they get caught up in their momentary bad feelings. As a result, they lose sight of the inevitability of their goal. They eventually five up, while the Effective Seducer goes on to succeed.

A Highly Successful Seducers knows that rejection is the key to relationship prosperity

2007-01-27T22:49:00.000+08:00

You're on the third date. You know it's time to make your move. She seems to like you. But who can tell? Maybe she's still wondering why she decided to go out on a date with you in the first place. But you have to make sure your move now. After all, you are ready. But what if she says "no" ??

Or perhaps you aren't even out on a date yet. Maybe you are looking across the room at her, that unmet angel, that wonderful woman who you wish you could bring yourself to talk to. You could go up to her. This could be your only chance. But what if she rejects you? What if she's mean to you? What if she say "no" ??

The Highly Effective Seducer sees things completely differently. Rather than seeing rejection as a reflection of his value as a man, the Highly Effective Seducer has one rule about rejection: "Rejection us the key to relationship prosperity". An Effective Seducer thinks about rejection differently than does an ineffective seducer. He makes better decisions about what a women's rejection means to him.

To the Highly Effective Seducer, rejection is a stepping stone to massive sexual success because he sees it as one more "no" he doesn't have to hear on the way to an inevitable "yes" with some other woman. After that same interaction, an Effective Seducer might say to himself, "Wow, she sure didn't have much of a sense of humor. I wonder if she's not feeling well. Perhaps she had a friend die from suffocation in a plastic bag. Who knows? " If he does think that she didn't like him, his only thought is "Well, it's a good thing I found out now, before wasting more time and energy on her. Now I can concentrate on all the women who will want to be with me!" The Highly Effective Seducer explains the interaction to himself in such a way that he feels good about himself. He's gotten one more "no" out of the way, and can move on to the "YES" from some other woman.

Here are the basic principles the Highly Effective Seducer follows in the face of rejection, which you must also follow. First, he leaves his self-image out of it. He comes up with an explanation for her rejection that has to do with her, or with circumstances, rather than with him. He thinks to himself that "She must have a boyfriend", rather than "I must not be attractive".

Second, he redirects his attention. Rather than giving his brain an opportunity to dwell on the rejection, he thinks about something else instead. He asks "What's on the dessert menu"? or "What's on TV tonight"? If his brain does go back to the rejection, he reminds himself it's one more "no" he won't have to hear on his way to an inevitable "YES". The Effective Seducer does not allow rejections to mean that he is unworthy or bad in any way, Though we dislike the overly new age/positive thinking movement, we saw a poster recently that poignantly sums up our points. It said, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take".

A Highly Successful Seducer doesn't get upset at her “no's”

2007-01-27T22:00:00.001+08:00

One of the myths in dating and seduction is that as a man you should be able to just go out and meet a beautiful woman on the street and have her back in your bed in minutes. We can recall times in high school thinking that “a real man” could just go out and pick up a woman effortlessly, which we later realized is a near impossibility. If you are a rock star or already very famous, it could happen, but for most of us there is almost no chance.

To meet women and have relationship with them is often a lengthy process. Along the way you will have to face all sorts of trouble, problems, rejections, etc. the number one thing that stops most men from being successful is that they give up when women ambiguously or uncertainly say “no”. From our vantage point, women most certainly will say “no” along the way. We view the dating scene as a game and part of it is that women will, predictably, say “no” at some point. You have to improvise a way to stay motivated and focused on your goal without pushing them in a way they resent. You need to develop a tougher skin regarding rejection.

A Highly Successful Seducer knows it’s his job to pursue relationship; and that she has the final say

2007-01-27T01:47:00.000+08:00

Men and women play a very elaborate game of cat-and-mouse. Men pursue and women either accept, reject or play hard to get. As men we often love the process, even though it seems tedious at times. A woman likes to know that you are persistent and worthy of her affections. As men, we love the conquest. We love the accomplishment of taking this woman who at first seemed like an impossibility and of knowing that we now “have her”.

Pursuing is paradoxical. On one hand it is your job to pursue sex and go after what you want. On the other hand, she always has the final say. You must go at her speed and yet push at the same time. Even if it doesn’t seem ‘fair’ to you, you must stop when she says, no matter what.

When men don’t listen to women’s “no” they are risking many severe problems. The biggest one is being accused of rape. This is a real threat.

A Highly Successful Seducer never grovels for relationship

2007-01-27T01:40:00.000+08:00

Groveling may get you relationship, but let’s look at the cost: First, even though groveling may have gotten you relationship this time, it won’t work in the future. Groveling erodes your self-respect, and a man without self-respect is not sexually attractive to women. So this leads to more groveling and begging for sex, which erodes your self-respect even more. Eventually you have no self-respect, no self-esteem, and must live as a worm groveling through every interaction with women. Is that what you really want ?

Second, how you are in pursuing relationship is how you are in pursuing your life. If you are able to have fun, be playful, and pursue a goal consistently but not be attached to the outcome, you will be successful both in life and with women. However, if you get into the habit of groveling and begging with women, you will be a groveling beggar in the bigger realms of your life. To some degree you’ll grovel to your boss, to sales clerks, parents, everybody. You will be a true loser with no self-respect, no self-esteem.

Third, women become sadistic and will take advantage of a groveling, no self-respect man. They’ll take your money, time, and will toy with you sexually, finally ditching you without putting out. In the process they will purposefully make you miserable. One women told us about a man she dated who would always grovel for sex. The man would snivel and whine whenever he wanted in a way that she found disgusting. As a result, she made him buy her all sorts of expensive gifts. She even made him give her his credit card so she could use it to buy expensive clothes. The problem with this guy was threefold. One, he didn’t realize that he was being exploited and punished for his whining. He lost his self-respect and was too naïve to realize it. Two, he didn’t notice that he was being overcharged for sex with this woman. Three, he inevitably lost her. He never really got the sex he wanted, and she got rid of him when she became bored.

Whining, begging, and groveling for relationship are behaviors you must stop if you want to become a Highly Effective Seducer.

Modeling Successful Seducers

2007-01-26T13:07:00.001+08:00

In the quest of become reliably successful with women, we made use of the concept of modeling. Modeling, in this case, does not mean runway models or centerfold models. It means that we modeled our behavior after men we met who seemed successful with women.

You can also use modeling in learning about success with women. Say you know a man who always seems to be in romantic relationships with hot women. He never seems to have any problems getting as many women as he wants, and seems to exactly the sex life he wants. If you were to make this man your model, you wouldn’t simply ask him how he does it, because he probably wouldn’t know. What you would do is observe him. You’d look at how he dresses and moves, and dress and move the same way. You’d watch how he behaves with women, and try to behave the same way. You’d ask him what he’s thinking at different times in a date, and think the same way. You’d ask him about his beliefs about women, and use the same words and sentences. In time, you’d have the same success he does. And you would be able to adapt what you’ve learned from him to best suit you.

“It’s An Attitude”

2007-01-26T13:06:00.001+08:00

I think that saying “the secret of success is to have a better attitude” is about as useful as saying “the secret of success is to have success”. Attitude and success are both outcomes of doing certain things on a consistent basis. When you understand dating inside and out, know what to do when and how to do it, you again automatically have the right attitude and have success.

You’ve Got What It Takes

2007-01-24T17:46:00.002+08:00

If you’ve ever learned any skill, then you can learn how to succeed with women. You’ve simply never been taught how. Like any skill, once you learn the basics, the rest seems easy.

If you can communicate at all, even if it’s typing out messages with a pencil between your teeth, you can get women to desire you. What’s missing is the simple technical skills required to get women experiencing romantic feelings and thinking romantic thoughts about you. As I said, if you can communicate at all, you can have success with women. But you need to know what to communicate, and how to communicate it. Just as important, you need to know what not to communicate, and how not communicate that.

It’s Not Rocket Science

2007-01-24T17:46:00.001+08:00

People tend to make things they don’t understand more complicated than they really are. It’s only natural. Many people think that using a computer will be so difficult that they are too intimidated to even turn the blasted thing on. Other people are so intimidated to even turn the blasted thing on. Other people are so intimidated by the simple task of balancing their checkbook that they never learn how to do it. We all tend to complicate topic we do not yet understand

Meeting and dating women is just like any other skill. At first it seems overly complicated and difficult. Most men simply give up because the task seems to large. This is not true. In fact, many men are less successful than they could be because they overcomplicate matters by being overly involved with their own thoughts about how difficult dating is.

You can be a NERD and still score

2007-01-23T13:28:00.001+08:00

Tim, for example, is a computer programmer for a large firm in Texas. He is 38, has epilepsy, and has scars on his arms from an accident as a child. At first glance Tim looks like a computer geek, and is not particularly attractive. His glasses look a bit out of date, and he even has pens in his pockets in a plastic pocket protector. He wears goofy ties and white tennis shoes. He is balding and has a gut. He looks like the type of guy who us much more comfortable with computers than with people.

However, as you get to know him, it is easy to see why he dates as many women as he wants, and even know some who just like him for “fun”. It is pretty funny that a computer geek like Tim can have so many women.

One of Tim’s strong points is that, he is very easy to talk to. Unlike many computer geeks, he is very personal. He has studied how to be romantic and is able to be sweet to women and seem harmless to them at the same time. Women find Tim attractive because it’s easy for them to trust him. Tim has learned that he must pursue many women and he doesn’t seem upset when he’s rejected.

I was speaking to you, the one who is reading this right now. Even if you’re not a model-quality beauty or are older and balding, you can still have wonderful relationships with as many women as you want. You can cultivate the skills to be a dating machine.

Understanding Women’s Biggest Fear

2007-01-23T13:25:00.000+08:00

One example, Dawn is years old, long blonde hair, big blue eyes, tall, great legs and blah blah blah… Dawn used to go out and flirt with guys at bars. She enjoyed about entering a bar and seeing how the men would stop talking and stare at her, drooling like gods. She said she enjoyed the attention, but she rarely gave out her phone number to or fated any of the men who came onto her in bars. Why ??

Because she was afraid. She would be attracted to a man and then get afraid of being physically abused or raped by him. After all, she didn’t know him; she just met him at the bar. So she’d stay distant, unattainable by the many men who desired her.

Fear of being abused, hurt or raped by men is the biggest concern women have in dating. Dawn and most women smartly scope out men to make sure they won’t be physically hurt by the men they date. They want to be sure they can trust the men they are attracted to before getting physically vulnerable with them.

If you want to have success with women, you must be aware of this most basic female concern. You must deal with the fact that women you meet will be testing you to see if you are “safe”, or potentially violent.

The Seven Dating Myths

2007-01-22T19:07:00.000+08:00

You are ready to do the work to get women into your bed; now all you need is for me to tell you what the work is. But before I tell you the secrets to creating an abundant enjoy life, we must explore and dispel the seven dating myths. You’ve probably bought in to most or all of them; the first thing to do now is to clear them away.

Myth 1. If you are nice enough and interesting enough, you will get a woman
It’s great to be nice and interesting, but it is not enough; it’s not the same as being seductive. Most men don’t understand this. Your average man thinks that if he likes a woman, and she says that he is “sweet”, “interesting”, or “a wonderful friend,” that he’s moving the relationship toward eventual romance. He isn’t, because, as we’ve said, being nice and interesting is not the same as being seductive.

Myth 2. You are a nice guy, who only has nice thought and desires
Man who believe that they are really nice guys, who only have nice thoughts and nice desires, often break women’s hearts the most cruelly. Men who know that they aren’t always sweet, and who know that they don’t always have kind thoughts and desires, are often much more humane.

How can this be? After all, men who are committed to always being nice in every way should actually be nicer, shouldn’t they? Sadly, it doesn’t work out that way.

Look at it this way: over the course of any relationship, you have the opportunity to feel a wide variety of feelings and behave in a wide variety of ways. Statistically speaking, you can’t always be at your best. Sometimes you’ll be at your best, most of the time you’ll be at your average, and some of the time you’ll be at your worst.

Myth 3. Just “be yourself” and women will desire you
“Being yourself” doesn’t mean that you are utterly impulsive and driven by whatever behaviour is most convenient for you in the moment. In different situations, you naturally bring out different parts of yourself. In church you follow a certain “code of conduct,” but that shouldn’t repress you. It’s simply an opportunity to bring out the more formal, religious part of yourself. At the dinner party, you bring out the more cultured, sophisticated part of yourself. At the job interview, you bring out the professional part of yourself. You’re no “repressed” because you don’t ask her out. You are simply expressing a different part of yourself at that moment.

Myth 4. Women know what they want, and they will tell you
Have you ever noticed that women will talk about the kind of man that they want, and end up with someone completely different? It happens all of the time. What women say they want, and what they actually respond to, are often totally different.

This is actually a very human trait: there are probably things you say you want in your life that you only think you want. Women are no different.

Women can’t tell you what they want in a man – they can only tell you what they think they want in a man. There’s a big difference. They also aren’t attracted to men who approach as supplicants, begging for the easy keys to melt a woman’s heart. Don’t fall into the trap.

Myth 5. Be a woman’s therapist, and you’ll get sex
I’ll simply point out that being a woman’s therapist is one of the worst ways imaginable to get sex. Many men think it will work, but it almost never does.

Myth 6. Being “honest” means telling her the worst things about yourself
Many men seem to think that the best way to be honest with women is to tell them the worst things about themselves, the sooner the better. “Full disclosure!” seems to be these men’s motto. I think this is foolishness.

It’s good to be honest. But I believe that dealing with the consequences of the truth will almost always be easier than dealing with the eventual consequences of lying. However, this doesn’t mean that you should tell a woman every thought or desire you ever have. That simply isn’t useful. A man who believes this myth will often tell a woman his problem right way.

A man who “spills the beans” about his problems and his defects right away may bond emotionally with a woman, but she won’t desire him. She’ll think if him as a friend, but she may also think of him as a nut case.

Myth 7. Dating should be fair
This one myth gets men in more trouble than almost any of the others. If you are a man who whines about how dating isn’t fair, and how you have to do all the pursuing of women, you must stop that right now.

I hear it all the time: “Why can’t a woman ask me out for once?” “If women really believed in equality, they’d kiss me first!” “I’m tired of doing all the pursuing with women. It’s their turn now.”

My advice is to get over it. If you don’t have sex life you want, it’s your responsibility to get it. It is not women’s responsibility to take care of you, and to make sure you have what you want in relationships. Expecting them to do so is just immature.

What This Blog Will Teach You

2007-01-22T13:48:00.000+08:00

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Seducers
There are a number of habits that all master seducers follow. I’ll show you what successful seducers do every single day that makes them consistently successful with women. I’ll also show you how to stop making the most common seduction mistakes, which you probably are making continuously. When you take on the habits of successful seducers and stop making these few common errors, you’ll be more effective with women instantly.

The Element of Style
Your deepest communication to women is carried out by your personal style and your level of confidence. What you “say” to a woman through these two key areas can easily make the difference between a successful and a failed seduction. To develop a personal style, both through how you dress and how you behave, that is a genuine expression of who you are and that women will find absolutely compelling.

Flirting Without Disaster
I use flirting to go from seeing a hot woman to making her my date. You build the basic structure of your relationship through the quality of your flirting. Will you be a woman’s lover, or will you be her friend? Much of that will be decided by how you flirt. If you don’t know how to flirt well, you will screw up your future with a woman and not even know you did it. i’ll show you how to flirt your way to the date, effectively overcoming her natural fear of you, and building a bond of fun and excitement between you. I’ll then show you how to effortlessly turn that connection into an accepted invitation for a date.

A Crash Course in Romance
Many “practical minded” men don’t know hot to be romantic in a way that will really make a woman feel special. Furthermore, romance seems passé: in this age of equality, a man shouldn’t have to romance a woman, should he? Well, yes, he does. You have to be romantic because it can be a fun way to make a woman see you as special and exceptionally attractive.

The Priming and Seduction Dates
I’ll teach you about the two kinds of dates, priming and seduction. I’ll show you how each is a different, yet critical, part of effectively seducing a woman. You’ll learn how to find what she desires in a man, and how to fulfill those desires by bringing those parts of you alive. You’ll learn how to reliably make romantic conversation, and how to construct romantic experiences that will turn her on, connect her to you, and that she’ll remember for the rest of her life.

Closing the Deal: Going for The FIRST KISS and MORE
Done properly, the first kiss is easy. Done improperly – which is the way most men do it – the kiss seems more like pulling teeth. I’ll show you exactly how to create an experience in which the woman is thinking about the kiss, desires it. I’ll teach you the specifics of how to go for that first kiss, and how to take it much, much farther immediately.

How to be the Man of her Dreams in bed
The master seducer understands that he must always be improving his ability to enjoy sex and to please a woman. I’ll show you how to improve three key areas- your communication, your attitude, and your technique. I’ll show you how to create that moment when the date turns sexual, how to excel at foreplay and afterplay, and what to say and not to say during make love.

When babes attack: handling problems women cause
Sadly, not all of your interactions with women will be easy. In most people experience, the same basic problems tend to show up again and again. I’ll show you the nine secrets of handling the problems women cause, and walk you through, step by step, handling the most common dating difficulties. Because women are only half the problem, I’ll also show you how to handle the problems you cause in dating situations.

Keeping her
After you’ve seduced a woman, you have to maintain your connection with her if you want to be able to have sex with her again. I’ll show you the ABC’s if maintaining romantic relationships, and the specific steps you must take to keep her warmed up, happy, and waiting for you.

Breaking up with her
All short-term relationships come to and end, sooner or later. I’ll show you how to figure out when it’s time to end it, and how to break up in the most merciful way possible so you end up friends. I’ll also show you how to determine if she might be a good candidate for a long-term relationship/

Going from casual to committed
Most men like to “play the field” for a while, then move on to a long-term relationship. I’ll teach you the most important “do’s and don’ts” for creating a relationship that stays passionate, fun, and, loving for the long-term.

Life is Great ??

2007-01-22T13:31:00.000+08:00

A common problem. “I can’t seem to get women to like me”, “I mean, they like me as a friend, but when I try to make things more romantic, it never works out. I haven’t had sex in over a year. What should I do?”

All sorts of men face this dating problems. Some are your, some are middle aged, some are older. Some are salesmen, some are computer programmers, some are executives. They can’t seem to get women to have relationships with them. They desperately wish they could be successful with women, but they aren’t, and it seems like the harder they try, the worse things get.

These are good men. They are sincere and honest and would make good lovers, boyfriends, and husbands. But they can’t seem to get women to even give them the time of day. They all find themselves living hope – hoping that someday they will magically figure out how to attract women, hoping that someday they will, through some mysterious process, turn into super-studs.

Obviously, living in hope doesn’t work, especially about something important like relationships with women. It’s like hoping that your apartment will get clean, but not cleaning it. It’s like hoping that you will have enough money for your retirement, but not saving for it. You have to take the proper actions consistent with your commitments, not just live in hope.

Introduction about this BLOG

2007-01-22T13:30:00.000+08:00

We were no different than you might be. Our relationships with women were dependent upon two things: luck and the whim of women who happened to be attracted to us. When either of us had sex, it was because we quite literally “got lucky”, and a woman decided to have us. We had little choice or power over when we had sex and relationships and what women we had those interactions with. Sex and relationships, it seemed, were a crap-shoot. Perhaps we’d meet someone, perhaps we wouldn’t. Needless to say, we got tired of it.

We have learned that good intentions and being a good guy are not enough. These qualities are important, but, by themselves, they will almost never generate romance with a woman. If you are going to have success with women, you must be able to create romantic structures. You must be able to intentionally create interactio0ns, conversations, events, dates, and moments that, by their very nature, make women feel romantic feelings and think romantic thoughts about you. Sometimes these structures just happen, but, with a little know-how, you can unsure that they happen consistently and with the women you desire. You must know how to construct them. Fundamentally teaching you to do just that is what this blog is about.

Remember, dating is a game. It is an important game, but it is a game. All games are frustrating when you are first learning the rules, and dating is no different. But, like other games, dating becomes fun as you master it. Stick with it through the first few tries and the possible confusion. Keep at it, and it become fun.